Somewhere in the middle of the ocean, I threw out some thoughts. And pondered on a number of things as I watched the waves crash onto the bottom of the big boat the carried me and little girl.
Over the weekend, I got my wish to escape from it All. Albeit it was a short one, the recent trip allowed me to re-evaluate my innermost thoughts and re-assess my numerous plans, dreams, everything...
I stumbled upon a blog that talked about scars that never heal. And I remembered how I always maintained that these scars are called such because they would never leave. And they would always serve as a bittersweet reminder of what were.
Then I watched Narnia with my daughter- who loved every moment of the experience and I understand, that for sooo long, I have dwelt on what was taken from me. And not on what was given. Oh yes, who could forget such a meaningful line, when it was uttered by Prince Caspian himself.
And we realize, that these scars may be a bittersweet reminder of the pain. But it is also a good thought to self that wounds eventually heal. And as they are now scars, we realize that whatever pain it is, like all things, it too shall pass.
And so, as I did have moments of swinging back and forth from the was to the now, I am glad to find that what I have become in the last years, I am proud of it.
Equally glad I am too to see little girl loving her first sail, her wonderful adventures and her curiosity and exhilarating joy in discovering the beautiful city of Cebu.
Additionally, I learned, that it is in the smallest, the most mundane things that we discover happiness.
A cup of gellato, a quiet nook, a wonderful sale, a smile or a hug. It is in the smallest things that we discover the meaning of it all.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My only Christmas Wish
Dear Santa,
All I really want for Christmas is a Kate Spade Flicker bon shopper bag.... SIGH.
Well, it's free to dream right. lolz
All I really want for Christmas is a Kate Spade Flicker bon shopper bag.... SIGH.
Well, it's free to dream right. lolz
Saturday, December 11, 2010
When the dust settles...
I woke up late and has left bed only to eat breakfast. Me and little one has been sleeping in and watching Mary Poppins over and over and munching on the cookies I got from Margies. OMG, diet!
The reason I got my laptop and I'm writing again so soon is because I am almost in a panic. I realized I am far away from my Christmas list and I haven't gotten little one surprise presents! Everything I got (pasalubongs) that were wrapped and kept under the tree, she already knows... She has already seen. And I still haven't gotten anything for some of the yayas, Booboo, tito E, and yeah, my dad and his kids...........
Speaking of.
Although, admittedly, my relationship with my father and his new family has always been strained, I still couldn't really shake off the fact that He's still a dad to me and my sister C. And he is still little girl's grandfather. And it is only because of this fact that I stretch my limits and shut my mouth as long as I could, so as my little girl would see Him as a grandfather of sorts.
When little girl came to this world, the bad blood between me and my dad did not end. But admittedly, it got better. I know for a fact that there are things that I could not change and should accept- of which about 70% I have already accepted. But the thing is, no one and nothing can force me to LOVE the situation. The best that I can do is to stay quiet. And for most of the time, I think I have done my part.
Maybe it is the way of time. As we age, we learn to mellow down. And see things in a different angle. If there is one thing I have learned from this year, is to stretch my patience in everything. Something that I have been struggling with ever since. But slowly learning the art of it. Afterall, I am not getting any younger.
I have learned to stay still until the dust settles and the murky waters have cleared.
I still have a long way to go, when it comes to this aspect and issue. But things cannot be rushed or forced. And when 2011 enters, I vow to stretch more. Or ignore more. LOLZ
This 2011, I look forward to a continued year of blessings. And an extension to my line of patience. Because when we wait, we wait for something better. And when it arrives, we realize that we have gotten the best.
And USUALLY, when we turn a cheek to a throw of stone, we reap something better. It's good karma. :D
The reason I got my laptop and I'm writing again so soon is because I am almost in a panic. I realized I am far away from my Christmas list and I haven't gotten little one surprise presents! Everything I got (pasalubongs) that were wrapped and kept under the tree, she already knows... She has already seen. And I still haven't gotten anything for some of the yayas, Booboo, tito E, and yeah, my dad and his kids...........
Speaking of.
Although, admittedly, my relationship with my father and his new family has always been strained, I still couldn't really shake off the fact that He's still a dad to me and my sister C. And he is still little girl's grandfather. And it is only because of this fact that I stretch my limits and shut my mouth as long as I could, so as my little girl would see Him as a grandfather of sorts.
When little girl came to this world, the bad blood between me and my dad did not end. But admittedly, it got better. I know for a fact that there are things that I could not change and should accept- of which about 70% I have already accepted. But the thing is, no one and nothing can force me to LOVE the situation. The best that I can do is to stay quiet. And for most of the time, I think I have done my part.
Maybe it is the way of time. As we age, we learn to mellow down. And see things in a different angle. If there is one thing I have learned from this year, is to stretch my patience in everything. Something that I have been struggling with ever since. But slowly learning the art of it. Afterall, I am not getting any younger.
I have learned to stay still until the dust settles and the murky waters have cleared.
I still have a long way to go, when it comes to this aspect and issue. But things cannot be rushed or forced. And when 2011 enters, I vow to stretch more. Or ignore more. LOLZ
This 2011, I look forward to a continued year of blessings. And an extension to my line of patience. Because when we wait, we wait for something better. And when it arrives, we realize that we have gotten the best.
And USUALLY, when we turn a cheek to a throw of stone, we reap something better. It's good karma. :D
Friday, December 10, 2010
Travel Assignments and Firsts
My recent trip to the sleepy city of Butuan was one of the most productive trips I've ever done. It was also one of those riddled with "Firsts" and has ended with me bagging a lot of "Good Jobs", which I am really proud of.
Did you know that Butuan is a rich city, blessed with fertile soil, abundant water and a people built for hardwork? If I had imagined Butuan as quiet and slow, I was in for a big surprise to see a lot of similarities between my city and B. The beautiful landscape and the pesudo-busy streets provides a balance between work and leisure. There is life to the city, but just enough so as not to disturb the natural balance of things.
It was tranquility in a jar, almost serene.
This trip, I have:
1. Learned to ride the bus alone to a place I have never been to.
2. Memorized my schedule and store it in my head without mistake.
3. Found out that I can do my job without losing heart
4. Understood why I landed this job and is actually really loving IT
5. Observed that wherever I go, I end up ordering an eggplant dish for one meal the least.
6. Been wondering why my age is considered TOO YOUNG when I already feel like ALMOST TOO OLD. and wondering why being young is equated with being ignorant of the world. (TRY ME)
7. Realized that though I love the work, it will take me a while to get used to sleeping alone in hotels, eating take out or eating out with clients, and not having little within arms length.
BUT you know, as long as I keep my promises to little one, everything will work out great. Like a keeper of time, she did count the number of sleeps she did alone. AND just as I had promised, on the third night since I rode the bus, I am back home.
On my way back, Booboo texted me if I am on my way and when I asked why he replied with: Because little one is waiting for you.
And at that exact moment, in the middle of nowhere- riding the seemingly endless winding road, I KNOW that nothing will ever come close to the happiness or the amazing feat of being a mother. Because no matter how "proud" I was in my work accomplishments the days before, that very moment, the very image of little one quietly sitting and waiting is and will ALWAYS be the proudest in my life.
The spare afternoon I got today (from arriving early from my trip) was well spent. I went with little girl to school and watched her practice their routine for grandparents' day on Monday.
She is a natural dancer :D such grace!! such poise. I felt tears of joy well up. ( I know, drama!!)
SIGH. you know what Butuan has that CDO doesn't? Margie's- lttle girl's only wish for me to bring home.
So I did. A bagful of Margie's to my little girl's delight!
P.S. I found a classic butterfly sleeve blouse for a steal- an addition to my treasury of great finds :D pictures of the B trip and lil one's practice to follow... for now, some much needed shut eye!
Did you know that Butuan is a rich city, blessed with fertile soil, abundant water and a people built for hardwork? If I had imagined Butuan as quiet and slow, I was in for a big surprise to see a lot of similarities between my city and B. The beautiful landscape and the pesudo-busy streets provides a balance between work and leisure. There is life to the city, but just enough so as not to disturb the natural balance of things.
It was tranquility in a jar, almost serene.
This trip, I have:
1. Learned to ride the bus alone to a place I have never been to.
2. Memorized my schedule and store it in my head without mistake.
3. Found out that I can do my job without losing heart
4. Understood why I landed this job and is actually really loving IT
5. Observed that wherever I go, I end up ordering an eggplant dish for one meal the least.
6. Been wondering why my age is considered TOO YOUNG when I already feel like ALMOST TOO OLD. and wondering why being young is equated with being ignorant of the world. (TRY ME)
7. Realized that though I love the work, it will take me a while to get used to sleeping alone in hotels, eating take out or eating out with clients, and not having little within arms length.
BUT you know, as long as I keep my promises to little one, everything will work out great. Like a keeper of time, she did count the number of sleeps she did alone. AND just as I had promised, on the third night since I rode the bus, I am back home.
On my way back, Booboo texted me if I am on my way and when I asked why he replied with: Because little one is waiting for you.
And at that exact moment, in the middle of nowhere- riding the seemingly endless winding road, I KNOW that nothing will ever come close to the happiness or the amazing feat of being a mother. Because no matter how "proud" I was in my work accomplishments the days before, that very moment, the very image of little one quietly sitting and waiting is and will ALWAYS be the proudest in my life.
The spare afternoon I got today (from arriving early from my trip) was well spent. I went with little girl to school and watched her practice their routine for grandparents' day on Monday.
She is a natural dancer :D such grace!! such poise. I felt tears of joy well up. ( I know, drama!!)
SIGH. you know what Butuan has that CDO doesn't? Margie's- lttle girl's only wish for me to bring home.
So I did. A bagful of Margie's to my little girl's delight!
P.S. I found a classic butterfly sleeve blouse for a steal- an addition to my treasury of great finds :D pictures of the B trip and lil one's practice to follow... for now, some much needed shut eye!
Monday, December 6, 2010
Great Finds
All that flying and meetings left me tired, drained and overwhelmed. I missed my little one constantly, I used up my minutes just because I feel like hearing her say "Hi Ma! Ikaw na sad? (It's You Again??)"
I came home with a grin on my face and a shopping bag in tow. I found me and little one pretty dresses for the holiday season! And because I ran into Lady Luck, i'm holding close a few more to search for more great great finds this weekend!
Here are some of the beautiful treasures I found at a really good bargain. I should say, these pieces are bound to take up closet space for a bit of time.
Of course, as shabby as I could be at any given time, most fundamental pieces cost no more than 20USD. Except for the shoes, of course. :D
THE basic white boyfriend polo (ALTHOUGH no boyfriend to grab it from!lolz)
In beautiful contrast with this gorgeous button up in beautiful peach. The stitch of a belt goes well with the leopard flats.
My favorite georgette top that can double as a short summer dress and a blouse on a cool day.
AND my greatest find this weekend: the little black dress which fits PERFECTLY!
that made me feel like the grown up Alice lost in Wonderland.. :D
And this one, is ME with the famous white boa. lolz Maybe I can pass for a Marilyn? or even better!
This weekend, i'm looking forward to another bargain hunting of some more of these great, great finds. :D
What's your great find this week?
I came home with a grin on my face and a shopping bag in tow. I found me and little one pretty dresses for the holiday season! And because I ran into Lady Luck, i'm holding close a few more to search for more great great finds this weekend!
Here are some of the beautiful treasures I found at a really good bargain. I should say, these pieces are bound to take up closet space for a bit of time.
Of course, as shabby as I could be at any given time, most fundamental pieces cost no more than 20USD. Except for the shoes, of course. :D
THE basic white boyfriend polo (ALTHOUGH no boyfriend to grab it from!lolz)
In beautiful contrast with this gorgeous button up in beautiful peach. The stitch of a belt goes well with the leopard flats.
My favorite georgette top that can double as a short summer dress and a blouse on a cool day.
AND my greatest find this weekend: the little black dress which fits PERFECTLY!
that made me feel like the grown up Alice lost in Wonderland.. :D
And this one, is ME with the famous white boa. lolz Maybe I can pass for a Marilyn? or even better!
This weekend, i'm looking forward to another bargain hunting of some more of these great, great finds. :D
What's your great find this week?
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Hei December!
Hello there December, glad to have met you again so soon.
The first day marks the beginning of the closing of the year, and knowing that my 2010 has been quite a lovely one, seeing you again is well, seemingly more pleasant. This first day of the month, I am raising my prayers of thanks for the many wonderful moments I have taken part into and for the many amazing opportunities that have marked the year. I also give thanks for the good news that I hear and for my sister's within-the-reach dream. And of course, for the many beautiful friends I've met along the way.
And along with these little prayers of thanks is my little wish of an equally smooth and maybe a bit more of what was 2010.
Baby girl is still quietly sleeping in, with a bottle of milk in one arm and her lil bear on the other. She gets up and snuggles at my side as I write these thoughts down. Our tree is already up and i'm gonna start wrapping presents over the weekend. And you see, these kind of mornings are exactly what make the year beautiful.
More mornings like this and my heart will stay happy :D
Some snapshots from my grandmother's 92nd. We forgot to order the cake, couldn't find 92 balloons and there have been slips here and there through out the party. BUT yes, it was a wonderful one.
The golden girls, the siblings, my little girl and everyone stopped to greet lola G.
Oh, such is a beautiful, wonderful life...
The first day marks the beginning of the closing of the year, and knowing that my 2010 has been quite a lovely one, seeing you again is well, seemingly more pleasant. This first day of the month, I am raising my prayers of thanks for the many wonderful moments I have taken part into and for the many amazing opportunities that have marked the year. I also give thanks for the good news that I hear and for my sister's within-the-reach dream. And of course, for the many beautiful friends I've met along the way.
And along with these little prayers of thanks is my little wish of an equally smooth and maybe a bit more of what was 2010.
Baby girl is still quietly sleeping in, with a bottle of milk in one arm and her lil bear on the other. She gets up and snuggles at my side as I write these thoughts down. Our tree is already up and i'm gonna start wrapping presents over the weekend. And you see, these kind of mornings are exactly what make the year beautiful.
More mornings like this and my heart will stay happy :D
Some snapshots from my grandmother's 92nd. We forgot to order the cake, couldn't find 92 balloons and there have been slips here and there through out the party. BUT yes, it was a wonderful one.
The golden girls, the siblings, my little girl and everyone stopped to greet lola G.
Oh, such is a beautiful, wonderful life...
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