Wouldn't it be NICE?

One of the things I pride myself in is that I always manage to do things on my own. Either with minimal supervision, qith little help or with nothing at all -all by myself for everything and anything.

I love to think myself independent and strong and all those pretty adjectives for the best solo parent ever. for the best solo SOLO.



But you know, sometimes, I also find myself in one of those moments when I wish I don't have to do it alone.

AND I always get this when I'm feeling sick, lonely or just really, really tired.

I think, Wouldn't it be nice if someone drives me and/or picks me up after a long day at work? Not that I mind getting to work\/ getting home myself.

BUT Wouldn't it be nice if I come home to not just one hug, but two?
Not that I mind getting two, three, four more from little one every so often.

BUT Wouldn't it be nice to have someone pour me a glass of lemonade when my throat feels like a frog has already taken residence?
Not that I mind squeezing my own lemons and making a pitcher of lukewarm calamansi juice.

BUT Wouldn't it be nice to sit close to someone have conversations over a cup of coffee, exchanging thoughts on random things?
Not that I mind snuggling with little girl with a warm cup of choco. Or writing down random thoughts here in my blog.

BUT Wouldn't it be nice to have someone lovingly (LOVINGLY) reminding me of my medicines, giving me a back rub, or darn, or just giving a glass of water when i'm feeling sickie.... sickie like a baby?
Not that I mind writing my own TO Do's and posting a thousand post its on my fridge.

SOMETIMES, what we can do by ourselves, what I can do on my own, can somehow be... well, a bit better IF I didn't have to do it solo.

As my good friend G shared the exact same thoughts with me a few days back, I completely feel for her, with her...

Nonetheless, I am still thankful, just the same.

I may not have a PARTNER IN CRIME, BETTER HALF, etc. BUT I realize, I will settle (AM OKAY) with a great yaya who helps me in all of the above. And of course, for MANANG, who never fails to give me the traditional Pinoy massage when I badly want one.

That's not so bad, huh? LOLZ

As always, God really provides :D

And for a good read this week, I've stumbled upon 'The Single Mother's Survival Guide', by Patrice Karst.

Tonight though, I am searching high and low for a copy of this book.. It's just beautiful. wonderful. full of heart.......



So, you know, after seeing this picture and reading the synopsis of this children's book, I KNOW, I wouldn't trade my being a solo mommie for anything else.

EVER.

Kung Fu Panda wisdom

Me and lil one stayed up late watching Kung Fu Panda, and we laughed, giggled and cried a bit the whole time.

She couldn't understand, though, how Tai Long became bad, and that how can Master Turtle leave in the middle of something great.

We discussed how the bad heart come to be but I couldn't truly discuss Master Turtle's departure as fully or as profoundly as I want to.

I couldn't fully understand the latter either. But we find comfort that whenever someone leaves, someone worthy takes the place. As Master Rat took up the stick and started believing in Po, the best has started to materialize.

Our favorite part of the movie was Po learning Kung-Fu. Cocobear loved it because Po was able to prove himself, and worked hard to become what he is destined to be. (YES, Cocobear really told me this and in her own words, PO became a good Kung Fu student because he worked hard). I loved it because it allowed me to realize that there are many approaches to learning and teaching. "I realized that I cannot train you the way I have trained the others" and Master Rat took out the dumplings to encourage Po.

I have been struggling with teaching Coco her letters, and as I feel like she is WAY behind her lessons, I am told that kids her age should only learn phonetics, and some. I, on the other hand, wanted her to be more.

Lil girl had this attitude that when she refuses to learn, she would barely lift a finger. She wouldn't look at you, repeat after you, or even listen to what you have to say. AND it gets me frustrated.

But lately, I find her taking out her flash cards herself and asks me to quiz her. AND beautifully enough too, she is able to get the first 5 letters right. I guess, being patient in teaching her things, and finding the right approach to capture her interest are the only ways to get her to maximize her potential.

And my own study habits and.or techniques may not be the best for her too. (I finally get it, and I don't beat myself too much)!

So this Sunday Morning, we take a rest from letter drills and the shapes and the writing. We'd spend it watching Kung Fu Panda again and laugh as hard when Po defeated Tai Long using his big belly.

LOLZ

Such a beautiful movie.

One more good thing about Kung Fu movies? This particular one is packed with words of wisdom. And as it was repeatedly said in the movie: There are No Accidents.

Indeed, everything is meant to be.

Mommiehood and love

One cold, cloudy, Saturday afternoon, me and little girl snuggled watching cartoons, browsing the net for cute stuff and more shoes.

And I stumbled into these images:








And all the words about motherhood, my relationship with my daughter and the relationship of all the mothers with their children all over the world is summed up in these three beautiful images.

Sometimes, we take for granted the simple roles we have in this life, opting and filling our moments fighting for a place in the corporate world; when really, we have already achieved the most wonderful position anyone could ever dream of.

But, of course, it doesn't hurt to be a successful working mommy :)

Happy, beautiful Saturday :)

I'm gonna be a size F O U R

Ever since I turned 25, my body couldn't seem to process the sugar and the fats as fast as it did around 10 years ago. Now that I am turning near the station 30, my metabolism has certainly taken the slower lane.

Although I have been struggling with the weight gain, I have ironically come to love my body as it is now. Yes, I'm still cutting back on the rice intake, the sweets and the chips. I have started going with the more greens diet and less of anything hard to digest. I have started drinking water in litres too. lolz

I have even started taking green tea again in the mornings. Less coffee, less milk and whip cream :D

But I am THROUGH the stage of letting people push me and pressure me by making nasty, nasty comments! It's funny now though, when I look back on it, I should have known better than to listen to their opinion. Much more letting it affect me. Aside from the fact that it is laced with malice and intent to belittle my self-esteem, these people making the comments are those who LIVE to belittle people and raise themselves in the process. Ironically too, these very same people are no beauty experts themselves. tsk!

Now that I am fitting well into size 6 and can squeeze my way to size 4 (LOLZ), and losing the beer, errr, baby belly is actually liberating.

And I realize that losing the fats, the belly, the crazy ass depression over weight gain is something that I deserve. It's something that helps me gain control of my weight, my life, my moods, my decisions and even my market. lolz

So, the next uphill battle is to convince this big ass of mine to actually start running again. And take control of my health.

And speaking of health, God help me on finally quitting smoking, for good.

For real.

i know such a man.

There's a lot of drama in most of our lives.
There are people who choose to ignore the beauty of drama.
And there are those who live in the drama of it all.

I belong to the many who live within the beautiful scenes of the play and watched it unfold act after act. The only difference here is that I find it more profound to write things and thoughts and chronicle most of it down.

Yesterday, a thought came to me: that i can never be in a relationship when i want it to be so badly, impossibly perfect. But do we strive to attain a perfect relationship by finding the perfect formula? Or is it in the events? In the choices we make?

Or is it in perfecting ourselves?

Or in finding the perfect man?

Ah, the perfect man!

The perfect man is someone who can tolerate my worst and even love me for it. I know such a man. But i am not sure if fate understands our existence.

The perfect man is someone persevering. Constant in his actions and in his words. And even in his ambitions to better himself. I know such a man. But i am not sure if i am ready to love him.

The perfect man is someone who is perfectly my yin to my yang. The shrimps to my olio, the missing puzzle to my otherwise perfectly crafted life.

I know such a man but i don't think we can ever be.

And that marks the perfect man spelling out the perfect relationship an utter impossibility.

Surprise, surprise the world isn't all too bad

I have THAT again- waking up in the middle of the night and not falling back to sleep. I don't know if it has to do with age and stress. Or with age and age.

Not even facebook helps.

Do you ever get this?

A few days back, I have been asked if I were happy. And for a moment, I was tongue-tied, stammering, dumbfounded too. Maybe because it has been TOO long since I have been asked such and maybe because, I frankly don't know the answer yet.

Happiness is something very personal for me. It's not just the laughter that I am able to laugh now, or the smiles I give out every single day. I'm not even sure if it's just the contentment in work, stability in finances or the peace of my family home. Maybe, happiness is the whole of everything.

Or maybe Happiness is the thrill of chasing it all.

And being asked such is usually something that comes within my personal space. But it didn't, so I was surprised. And maybe pleasantly so.

It got me thinking too, and realized that there are still people - almost strangers- who are sensitive enough to ask a question.

And it's a welcome change to an otherwise jaded perspective. :)

Well, surprise, surprise.

I got myself a SOLO PARENT ID

Today, I finally got my solo parent ID.

And after much putting off, I finally had the nerve to do the DSWD interview. Not that I was apprehensive of the questions that they will throw my way, I was more scared of the looks my small town folks would give whenever I make the rarer than rare appearances.

The fact that I am a solo parent in this small town still raises some eyebrows.

But, thankfully, I have gotten used to it and I have learned that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing shameful in being a single mother. In fact, I am a proud solo parent. Not everyone can be a good parent. And certainly, not everyone can be a proud SOLO one too.

Why should Solo Parents get this ID? Because RA 8972 has outlined a number of benefits for solo parents that could help us juggle our duties wonderfully. Although solo parents who are considered above poverty level (all of us working solo parents) could not avail of the education, housing and medical appropriations, we are entitled to:

* Additional 7 Days Leave provided that we have (1) rendered at least one (1) year of service; (2) given notice to the employer within reasonable time frame andl (3) presented our SOLO PARENTS ID.

* No Work Discrimination.
* Flexible Working Hours

The Senators of this country are still debating whether to give solo parents the MUCH NEEDED discounts on medicines, hospitalization, diapers, milk, and other baby needs, but hopefully, soon, the SOLO PARENTS ID will have as much power as the SENIOR CITIZENS ( a whopping 20% off on everything necessary!)

I wish we also get some slack in our tax payables.

The SOLO PARENTS ID can be claimed from your DSWD Office, with the following requirements to be presented:

1. Barangay Certification (Proof of Residency and Testament of Solo Parenting)
2. Certificate of Employment/Income Tax Return(Proof of Income)
3. 2 1x1 ID pictures (Proof of existence, lolz!)

We are to fill up this form that contains some questions like: Solo Parents Needs? and Solo Parents Family composition. And then proceed to the signing of the form and then, finally the ID.

I don't really get it too, but it feels good to have this one in my wallet. :)

To Read more on the act:
THE RA 8972 or Solo Parents Welfare Act


Republic Act No. 8972 or the “Solo Parents’ Welfare Act of 2000”is the Philippine law on single parents. It was promulgated on November 7, 2000.

The law provides comprehensive program of services for solo parents and their children to be carried out by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), the Department of Health (DOH), the Department of Education, Culture and Sports (DECS), the Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG), the Commission on Higher Education (CHED), the Technical Education and Skills Development Authority (TESDA), the National Housing Authority (NHA), the Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) and other related government and non-government agencies. (Sec.2, RA 8972)

You are considered a single parent if you are:

[1] A woman who gives birth as a result of rape and other crimes against chastity even without a final conviction of the offender: Provided, That the mother keeps and raises the child;

[2] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to death of spouse;

[3] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood while the spouse is detained or is serving sentence for a criminal conviction for at least one (1) year;

[4] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to physical and/or mental incapacity of spouse as certified by a public medical practitioner;

[5] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to legal separation or de facto separation from spouse for at least one (1) year, as long as he/she is entrusted with the custody of the children;

[6] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to declaration of nullity or annulment of marriage as decreed by a court or by a church as long as he/she is entrusted with the custody of the children;

[7] Parent left solo or alone with the responsibility of parenthood due to abandonment of spouse for at least one (1) year;

[8] Unmarried mother/father who has preferred to keep and rear her/his child/children instead of having others care for them or give them up to a welfare institution;

[9] Any other person who solely provides parental care and support to a child or children;

[10] Any family member who assumes the responsibility of head of family as a result of the death, abandonment, disappearance or prolonged absence of the parents or solo parent.

A change in the status or circumstance of the parent claiming benefits under this Act, such that he/she is no longer left alone with the responsibility of parenthood, shall terminate his/her eligibility for these benefits.

Who are considered as “children” under RA 8972?

The term “children” refers to those living with and dependent upon the solo parent for support who are unmarried, unemployed and not more than eighteen (18) years of age, or even over eighteen (18) years but are incapable of self-support because of mental and/or physical defect/disability.

*THE GOVERNMENT AGENCIES

A comprehensive package of social development and welfare services for solo parents and their families will be developed by the DSWD, DOH, DECS, CHED, TESDA, DOLE, NHA and DILG, in coordination with local government units and a nongovernmental organization with proven track record in providing services for solo parents.

The DSWD shall coordinate with concerned agencies the implementation of the comprehensive package of social development and welfare services for solo parents and their families.

What are included in this package of services for single parents?

The package of services will initially include:

(a) Livelihood development services which include trainings on livelihood skills, basic business management, value orientation and the provision of seed capital or job placement.

(b) Counseling services which include individual, peer group or family counseling. This will focus on the resolution of personal relationship and role conflicts.

(c) Parent effectiveness services which include the provision and expansion of knowledge and skills of the solo parent on early childhood development, behavior management, health care, rights and duties of parents and children.

(d) Critical incidence stress debriefing which includes preventive stress management strategy designed to assist solo parents in coping with crisis situations and cases of abuse.

(e) Special projects for individuals in need of protection which include temporary shelter, counseling, legal assistance, medical care, self-concept or ego-building, crisis management and spiritual enrichment.

*FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULE

It is the right granted to a solo parent employee to vary his/her arrival and departure time without affecting the core work hours as defined by the employer. Under Section 6 of RA 8972, the employer shall provide for a flexible working schedule for solo parents: Provided, That the same shall not affect individual and company productivity: Provided, further, That any employer may request exemption from the above requirements from the DOLE on certain meritorious grounds.

What about the issue of work discrimination, in terms of job assignments or promotion?

Section 7 of RA 8972 provides that no employer shall discriminate against any solo parent employee with respect to terms and conditions of employment on account of his/her status.

*EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES

The DECS, CHED and TESDA are mandated to provide the following benefits and privileges:

(1) Scholarship programs for qualified solo parents and their children in institutions of basic, tertiary and technical/skills education; and

(2) Nonformal education programs appropriate for solo parents and their children.

*HOUSING BENEFITS

Solo parents shall be given allocation in housing projects and shall be provided with liberal terms of payment on said government low-cost housing projects in accordance with housing law provisions prioritizing applicants below the poverty line as declared by the NEDA.

*MEDICAL ASSISTANCE

The DOH shall develop a comprehensive health care program for solo parents and their children. The program shall be implemented by the DOH through their retained hospitals and medical centers and the local government units (LGUs) through their provincial/district/city/municipal hospitals and rural health units (RHUs).