A Jar of Happiness. And everything else.

That's me and lil one, trick or treating. (Tita D is beside lil gurl, but not sure if I can post her here, lolz)

Halloween 2011 

I'm happy.

I don't get why most find it hard to believe that I am. 

I don't understand why people would think I am not.

I don't tell people that I am happy, but scared to be, yet thankful I am.

But I am happy.

Truly.

I love my lilGurl.

And I love that she loves me back unconditionally.

I am happy being a mother.

I am happy with my job.

I am grateful for my friends.

I am good with my single blessedness.

I am at peace with my solo parenthood.

I am truly in this state of tranquility.

Although my happiness do not equate to contentment, 

the NOW that I have is something that I am joyful about.

Joyful.

Thankful.

Grateful.

Yes.

I still dream of my happy ever after.

I pray for that day to come.

I still want to see Paris.

And watch the lights and listen to the beautiful Parisian noise

With this person who can actually understand me.

Love me.

Truly.

I still have those moments.

When I ask my what ifs;

When I wonder how I will handle things;

When I wish I can be better.

Have better,

Do better.

But I have more of those times 

When I laugh.

When I see the beauty of gray skies.

When I giggle at stupid jokes.

Or smile because I think things are good.

And I have this lilGurl.

Who loves me.

Whom I love more back.

And we are given these moments

of just wonderful bonding;

of carefree love;

of quiet understanding.

And I find myself in prayer,

in quiet thought,

and in acceptance

Of a number of things

from my past,from my now and even from my future.

And so I know.

I feel.

I truly am.

Happy :)

Ain't it just beautiful?