I have never been humiliated, insulted, cheered on, inspired, tired, and completely out of sync - all in a matter of days. All in a week's time. All because of one resignation letter. One choice to finally move on.
All because I finally found the courage to break free.
A few days back, I decided to leave my comfort zone. Contrary to what most people think, and contrary to my old expectations, the decision did not come in difficulty. It was not a whim, it was well-thought out. But it was easy.
It was easy because I was lucky an opportunity came at the exact moment I needed one.
Perhaps, because it was the right time. It seemed everything in nature, everything in the world has agreed with my choice. Thus, the seemingly effortless shift.
The world has indeed conspired to make it all happen.
I am entering the last stretch of my personal banker life. And as much as I love my work, value my contribution to the team, my clients, my team mates, some people just make it difficult for me to remember this with a fond heart.
But I maintained my silence. I maintained my poise and I remained calm. I bit my tongue and pushed myself to give it one more chance. Push more til the end of the rope. I guess, when we grow older, we learn to curb our reactions. And I guess, I have finally learned to think twice before anything I do. Speak. Curse. Move. ETC.
Though I refuse to waver, refuse to break, I find myself breaking down from the insults, the sarcasm, the betrayal, the pressure, the stress... every single night.
It has taken a toll on me.
Until last night. When I rushed home to attend my daughter's presentation. She sang Heal The World on stage for a school affair.
Yesterday morning, she wanted me to stay home. Asked me to watch her sing too- she has never done that. Never asked because she knew I have to work.
So all through the stress of Friday, I decided to cut my work short and rush to little one's school. AND I have arrived, just in time to kiss her good luck before going on stage.
And you know, seeing her eyes light up when she saw me, in office heels and suit, with hair flying and phones ringing, rushing to see her sing.
It was my most MOMMY moment. I was so close to tears. AND She sang with so much passion, I wanted to tell everyone that's my kid right there. I think I kinda actually did that lolz
Indeed, that little girl standing on stage is my strength and my reason for all these choices. And that moment, I was reminded that all the work-related stres, all the work related sarcasm and insults could not bring me down.
Simply because, what matters in my life, is this little girl in a red chinese/tweety dress.
And I think, two more weeks of work hell, for sure. But who cares, bring it on. I have made the right choice of leaving the team.
