Where God wants me to be

I am where I am and I will be where I will be, where God wants me to be.

After the papers and stones, and signs and clues, and the pros and cons, it is still a draw. The most difficult parts in life's journey are the crossroads, wherein you have to decide which way to take. With only the hope in your heart that it is the road less traveled, we move on to take one path. I haven't made a decision yet. As I am still nearing the intersection, I feel like I am almost losing gas and my wipers aren't working best. And that nagging feeling that I might not make the best decision when I hit the path, is well, scary.

I sat for hours, asking myself if it isn't what I wanted. No, it's more of asking myself why i don't seem to want it. When logically, it was a sound offer. An ALMOST assurance that I will provide for Coco's real school expenses, household expenses, almost a comfortable life. But, it will be the same banana on a different ship. Would the moolah really make the move worth it?

If I stayed, would I be able to provide Coco the best in the years to come? If I moved, would my career growth become faster? Would I have the chance to move up or find the same excuses like the ones in my old ship?

Sometimes, things become so frustrating. BUT I have my faith in my God. That He knows more about my future than I do with my present. With that as the only reason why I am able to sleep soundly at night, I remind myself that God will lead me to the right path, set up signs along the way and tow my truck when I run out of gas or get stuck on a puddle.

God, you have led me and walked with me this far, help me find the right path where I could provide my daughter only the best. If it is a choice between my happiness and personal advancement and my Coco's well being and future, I will always give up the earlier, without a second of doubt. I just need good help to discern which is which.