Solo Parenting

A week without writing was a week of stress. Coco came down with colds on Monday and has been wheezing the following days. For a moment, I've almost given up the facade and finally cave in to stress, worry, pressure and just exclaim I can't do this alone. But thankfully, I managed just beautifully :D

I knew being a single parent is not easy. But I never really imagined it is this difficult. On nights when I spent every moment checking on Coco's temperature and giving her sponge baths and preparing her medicines and nebules,and just watching her sleep, I could not help but feel well, really, scarily, alone. I spent the last few days awake, with only a few hours each night of sleep and fewer rest. I had to report the following morning, just because I really can't call in sick- My boss was here for the week. But spent most of the banking hours racking up phone bills checking on Coco and her nannies and bringing Coco to her pulmo-pedia in between lunch breaks.

At night, I couldn't get a shut eye, even if my body wanted badly to rest, simply because I wanted and needed to watch over my lil gurl.

It's hard, I know. But I know there is no one else in this world who is cut out to take care of my lil bear, better than I could. No matter how tired I am, after a long day's work, I would always tell her nanny to tidy up and allow me to take over. It's just a mother thing. No matter how full my days are, Coco will always move the rest down. She isn't a mere To Do. She is my everything.

And so I told myself, I will sleep when weekend comes. And I did sleep last night. A full six-hour slumber and slept half the day away too. Because finally my body exclaimed TIRED and raised a white flag: I too am now down with flu. I'm feeling so much better now though, I asked Manang to come over to give me a traditional Filipino massage. And downed litres of calamansi juice to keep the flu from turning to Zithromax.

And so tonight, I am back to writing. And I am back to having a couple of hours of me time. And my little girl is back to watching and dancing to Barney songs. She's way better now, thank you God for nebulizers. And i feel once again, that yes, I can do this alone.

Single parenting isn't always summery sunshine, and it may be a good challenge for the tough ones. But for all it's worth, I just wouldn't have it any other way either.

I love you Cocobear. It's such a relief to hear your snoring instead of wheezing! :D