Where the heart is..

I don't trust my heart, it flips and flops and do somersaults in moments we least expect. AND we are always left to wonder WHY or HOW. and just speechless, just staring into space and do or think of nothing.

So, maybe tomorrow, when this has floated away, I would get to gather my thoughts and jar the emotions and store them in a safe place. ack.

Flying back to CD-oh, with a million memories from years back and snapshots along the way, my short Manila trip was packed with a bundle of happYness. A few good laughter, Harry Potter 7 (my first movie in years!), endless chatter and a bag of GOOD news: I felt like things are really falling into the rightful place.

My days were peppered with my snaps, my heart has never really left Los Banos. And has never really left Makati or Alabang too. But has found home in the arms of little one, right here in small town CD-oh.

Thus, I feel how loved I have been. AND Now, I know how loved I am :D

Me and J grabbed some goooood food from our fave place Chimara, munched on tofu chips and cheese popcorn, downed less sugar less everything green tea... then
discovered an english nook in the middle of Alabang, with stacks of great cheese and soy-free concoctions. Spent more time with good friends before heading back to the place I will always also call home.











Coming home to elbi was beyond any words that I could muster. It was surreal too. Too bad I got there at nightfall and raining, I couldn't get great pictures and was tooooo tired and too short of time to fully appreciate coming back.

I was surprised by how SLEX was weirdly un-congested, and even more surprised to see that the tollway took on a modern facade- as if boasting the years I have blatantly ignored coming back the SLEX way.

And I did feel my heart jump when I saw V arcade, with the strange presence of a ministop and a string of ATMs..







But as far as good friends and drinks are concerned, it was still the elbi that I knew. Oh, just a bit crappy that my isismates were nowhere to be found (on such a short notice and tight sched, it was IMpossible to get all of us in the crazy place), I wished I could have frozen time for a moment longer.







AND I went home to my old room, and found my old stuff in the exact places where they were. And unearthed my treasured treasures, and browsed through my heart kept inside a cardboard box.









I know, the whole everything occupies a chunk of my heart. AnD if I could go back to freshman year, I think I'd still pick everything just as I did before. BUT, I have also been thinking, If my friend M is right, if I had chosen differently, things might have been different too. Like, some sort of domino effect.

If you can only teach your heart, then I guess a bucketful of tears could have been avoided. OR well, maybe, added. Really hard to say if one thing would make a difference. or if nothing would ever change.

Sometimes, the choices that we make, in that split instance, the Angels above guide us. Like the soft voice within the never really leaves. or shuts up.

YES. I am happy with the way things turned out. Especially when I found this little girl waiting for me when I came back home:



Who gave me the tightest hug and the most wonderful feeling of being loved and the most beautiful role in the world: being a mommy :D

Remember the old days, looking forward to the future, oh, what a beautiful beautiful feeling indeed. With my lil bear, I think, wow, what beautiful years they have been and what amazing next years to come!!