I hate riding the bus for long trips. I hate the idea of having to sit with a complete stranger for hours no end and of having to endure the stops.
I hate the smell and the noise. And the tiredness that seem to cling to me after.
But you know, it hasn't always been like this. I love to travel; to see new places; to find new things and discover new perspective. I used to love long bus rides too, because it allowed me to think. and maybe dream.
Perhaps, lately, the crazy work schedule and the anxiety of shifting jobs have made me more of a grouch.
AND that, I hate more.
Today, I woke up before the sun rose. And I started my day with a prayer that this week will go better than the last two. I hope, with all my heart, that the condescending boss that I have will stop assembling an execution crew and for a moment, just forget that he disapproves my decision.
My word today is RELAX. I need to learn to just go with the flow and let things go as they should. For the past two weeks, I have been crazy running after a schedule, crazy working, crazy planning... crazy exhausted.
This week, I need to relax. I need to give these bones some much needed rest and to give my mind and heart a much needed respite. This week, I will have to time to watch the sun rise, to see my little girl's works of art, to cook some pasta or bake some cupcakes; This week, I will have time to sit for long hours, reading stories with little one, teaching her to play the piano and make more drawings.
This week, I will empty my mind of worries, shake my heart and pour out resentments and a bit of that anger and open my palms to a whole new future. This week, I will be moving forward, remembering always but never looking back.
Little one is waking up now, and as I master the art of wrapping things up quickly, I stick another post-it on my forehead: RELAX.
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label time. Show all posts
Monday, March 7, 2011
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wake Me Up in 5 Hours.
This morning, I hopped into my cab, carrying my dance outfit, notebook and a lot of research material, with hair barely combed, flying another kiss to my little one and managing to say a small prayer of thanks to our God and I asked myself if all my mornings will be always be like this.
And I answered by ending my day just like the other nights.
I'm super tired. My eyes already sting and my joints ache like crazy. But i still couldn't sleep. Cuz I have like, a dozen articles, the first three chapters of a thesis, and tons of reports needed for the business planning due by Friday and weekend. I am really, absolutely tired. And almost in a panic. I don't really know how I could all finish them, all I know is just that I really have to. And I really badly want to.
Have you ever wished a day would consist more than 24 hours? and a week more than 7? Have you ever wondered if our bodies would constantly run on adrenaline and would only require rest for a maximum of two hours? Have you ever wondered what things you could do or places you could see then? Have you ever wondered if playing with your little girl a few hours a week, read her stories a few minutes each night, sing her lullabies a few moments every single day would ever be enough?
Have you ever thought about just sitting down with a cup of coffee, watching the sun rise and thinking about how lovely the morning is? I know I badly need to sleep. My bed feels empty for a really long time already. But I'm too worried I might over sleep and miss the deadline I set for myself. And I think i'm constantly hopping on from one thing to another I almost forget that I also need to stop for a moment and watch the lil green tea I planted has grown into a shrub. I need to seriously take a rest.
Coco has no more fever, and has already fallen asleep when I got home. BUT She woke up to greet me hello and I asked her how her day went. And she regaled me with stories and a yawn. My lil gurl is slowly growing before my very eyes. And with all the worrying that I do, and all the work that I try to finish, I ask myself, what if one day I'll be already bringing her to pre-school? Now I don't want the days to fly super fast anymore.
She said: Let's go to sleep na mom, and went on to say goodnight to her anak and dora. Before closing her eyes, and kissing me goodnight, she tells me in a matter of fact way, kantahi ko ma. And i did. Rock a bye Baby, lalala... I hope this will rock me to sleep as well.
Good night world. Wake me up in 5 hours please.
And I answered by ending my day just like the other nights.
I'm super tired. My eyes already sting and my joints ache like crazy. But i still couldn't sleep. Cuz I have like, a dozen articles, the first three chapters of a thesis, and tons of reports needed for the business planning due by Friday and weekend. I am really, absolutely tired. And almost in a panic. I don't really know how I could all finish them, all I know is just that I really have to. And I really badly want to.
Have you ever wished a day would consist more than 24 hours? and a week more than 7? Have you ever wondered if our bodies would constantly run on adrenaline and would only require rest for a maximum of two hours? Have you ever wondered what things you could do or places you could see then? Have you ever wondered if playing with your little girl a few hours a week, read her stories a few minutes each night, sing her lullabies a few moments every single day would ever be enough?
Have you ever thought about just sitting down with a cup of coffee, watching the sun rise and thinking about how lovely the morning is? I know I badly need to sleep. My bed feels empty for a really long time already. But I'm too worried I might over sleep and miss the deadline I set for myself. And I think i'm constantly hopping on from one thing to another I almost forget that I also need to stop for a moment and watch the lil green tea I planted has grown into a shrub. I need to seriously take a rest.
Coco has no more fever, and has already fallen asleep when I got home. BUT She woke up to greet me hello and I asked her how her day went. And she regaled me with stories and a yawn. My lil gurl is slowly growing before my very eyes. And with all the worrying that I do, and all the work that I try to finish, I ask myself, what if one day I'll be already bringing her to pre-school? Now I don't want the days to fly super fast anymore.
She said: Let's go to sleep na mom, and went on to say goodnight to her anak and dora. Before closing her eyes, and kissing me goodnight, she tells me in a matter of fact way, kantahi ko ma. And i did. Rock a bye Baby, lalala... I hope this will rock me to sleep as well.
Good night world. Wake me up in 5 hours please.
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