Crazy Monday took my words

Crazy Monday is here. And I'm not so sure if i'm already prepared for it. This week is bound to be crazier than the last. And I seriously hope it's gonna start out better. My boss is flying in from Cebu today and he'd be staying for a week! And as we all know, the team would be in a frenzy, full of meetings and deadlines. sigh. Makes me wanna skip now and move on to the next.

This week, I will know for sure. Between now and Friday, I will learn what is in store for me. And as T as has said, If I find nothing is in there for me, I will give what is due and finally be able to decide to jump ship when the other sets a definite date.

It's presssssuuuure! I am excited. But I am also damn scared. Too scared that I actually have no more words to say.

Can you believe it?

January. January. Riot January.

My first few working days of 2010 was a riot. It was emotionally and physically draining! And what's worse, I feel like I've always known things were gonna happen as it actually did.

January 4th,

I learned that our world is really a dog eat dog one. No matter how much you think your place is a sleepy town, with family-like atmosphere, everyone is still a slave to ambitions.

I learned that wanting something so much is not enough to really have it.

I learned that I need to learn how to play the game of corporate snake ladders and slides.

I learned that I am okay with the idea of sitting halfway there, and knowing that you can't really look me in the eye. I'm too naiveeeeee!

I learned that a number of doors are available for me :)

I learned that I can fight it out. Skills, talents, background, experience and the ready answer: I WANT IT and I AM READY FOR IT would suffice. OH I HOPE!

January 5th

I learned that things are not so bad, in fact, the riot just made it all better.

I learned that people love me for what I can do, and what I can offer.

I learned that I have grown and matured a lot since I don't hold grudges anymore. (slight) haha and i actually understood. REALLY.

I learned that sleeping your troubles away do not work for me.

January 6th

Today, I learned that I am a better person.

I learned that things happen because they are meant to.

I learned that aside from my work life, most of my rosy colored life are still in the best shape.

Already, a lot of new things and changes have happened. And a lot more will happen during the next days. I'm excited about how things will turn out, i'm not having trouble sleeping. Which translates to I am not SOOO worried.

You know, for the first time in years, I've drawn up a GOALS List and a ROAD Map for 2010. Imagine the newfound pressure.

How do you think my January will end?

Holiday Bum.

It's good to be back working late nights again. I kinda fried my brain sleeping day in and day out. Spent the day running around with Coco, picking up scattered toys, fixing foodies, running errands, baking cupcakes,nursing coco's fever and sleepinnnggg. And oh, don't forget holiday binge eating.

I've been a full time mom since the holidays started. Woke up early to fix breakfast and slept early after bedtime stories. Was on FB most of the day,Watched Barney, Dora and Barbie the whole day,pretended to be Santa and a mermaid with Coco and Christy in a span of an hour, barked: "stop it, get down, enough, no more, go to sleep" over and over for like the whole day, i totally feel exhausted.

Yet I am still awake, at this happy hour, and I am eternally grateful that my brain is a hundred percent un-sleepy. I need to work. My mind needs to write. And catch up on my articles. And then, I feel un-tired. More like, leaning on to "productive" :) The whole of December was a slow month for me, partly cuz of the festive atmosphere and partly cuz the bank job took a lot of my time. And now, I resolve to log in more hours into writing.

This is when I feel guilty for sleeping too much. Eating too much. and FB-ing too much. Sedentary for x number of days, and I swear I will totally fry. Tonight, I promise to work longer hours and write more articles. I promise to not eat too much or sleep too much. I resolve to do more in an hour... and the list goes on. I know. I needed that sleep. I could feel my body giving in to dreamland days after the last banking day of the week. But still. I KNOW.

Coco is sleeping beside me as I typed away the first few words of my first batch of articles. And I feel like a better mom if I play with her all day and work all night. Feels like I'm doing the right stuff. Seriously.

I mean, if the world has made me a single mom, I guess it's because I'll know no other way to live my life. When God decided to give me this challenge and responsibility, He whispered U Could DO IT. It amazes me, that this particular lifestyle was the top of my worry list on the onset of pregnancy. I was worried I could not work and be both mom and dad to Coco, and play at the same time. But right now, I feel like I am cut out for this. AND I can hear my little one snoring and sleepily telling me: Ure the best Ma. And so, I shall be.

If i had become a normal, plain housewife, with the picket fence, cupcakes and PTA meetings, would you think I'd play the role to the hilt? lol. i shudder to think.