Faith.Trust. AND Pixie Dust

I've been quiet for some time.

Apart from the almost too busy schedule, I wanted to savor the silence in me and the quietness that I feel around. But to keep mum about a lot of things and to not write down my thoughts for stretches of time seem to me a little strange. And to go on not writing about any thing seems a become more difficult as days go by.

Lately, I have been spending more time with little girl. Yes, at times I wish it could be like this every single day, if only I can work and take her with me along is possible... Yaya Inday has also taken an extended vacation, and I have been little girl's nanny and all around household help for the long holiday.

I remember how difficult it used to be for me. Like pushing a truck in an uphill and winding road, juggling chores, nanny duty, writing and office work always left me drained and exhausted.

But recently, I find it better. Not a breeze but much easier than before! As if I am born to do all things all at once and alone too. lolz I'm not so sure if lil girl and I have gotten past the stage of terrible twos and threes (though she's still, as she puts it: "three goyng fouh"), but she and I haven't been clashing head on for some time now. AND it IS GREAT!

She listens when I tell her so. Keeps quiet when silence is required; she manages to stow away her toys at the end of the day; she doesn't scream on top of her lungs when she doesn't get what she wants; she even remembers to brush her teeth and say her prayers, without me having to remind her all the time.

Suddenly, mommiehood is not soooo difficult. As if the whole universe has conspired to give me a break :D

Maybe because I have learned that in order to make things work:

1. I need to sleep early and wake up early to make time and energy for everything.

2. Practice a Coco and Mommie time and keep it on a daily basis. And we never fail to pray together.

3. Establish an effective communication channel with my daughter, that involves asking her opinion about things and listening to her observations- no matter how mundane.

4. Realize that by not giving in to her every whim and demand is possible and is actually good for the both of us!

5. Give her small roles: lil one is in charge of clearing out the table after meals and in straightening her bed before sleep. Making her part of the chores and tasks that I need to do entails me not having to keep on hollering "sit down", "behave" and "later"

6. Value the little moments when we can squeeze in fun and laughter.

7. Follow my own rules so lil one listens when I reiterate the house rules.

8. Injected the nice phrases like please, thank you and you're welcome every chance I get.

9. That in order to get my point across, never sugar-coat or scream. Tried logic, and everytime I get to answer her whys, she believes and does not give me a hard time.

10 And lastsly, a mother will always be the best nanny a child will ever have.

I am technically still a newbie to this motherhood thing. AND it is a learning process. As the days go by, I take in words of wisdom from different mommies out there, single or otherwise. But I think I can say I have adjusted beautifully :D Lil one is just amazing. She never fails to make me feel like a superstar.

So this 2011, we didn't really make resolutions. We mapped out dreams and plans instead. This year, we're going to spend a lot of time together travelling. And eternalize milestones by hanging the moments in our wall of love :D We both promised to be kind to each other when tantrums and mood swings set in (lolz) and to always remember that we are the best partners in crime in the history of mankind.

On NYE, little one asked me if we can ever find the "daddy" for the both of us. AND honestly, I wasn't to give her a decent answer. Cuz frankly, mommie doesn't know everything- this particularly! lolz Maybe I can get back to her in about five NYEs time.

You know, if our world is this quiet, this seemingly perfect, why would we need to rock our boat by adding someone in? Both of us get sea sick easy.

Anyhow.. as we quietly started the first few days of this year, we both spent it playing with her toys, reading her books and watching tinkerbelle over and over. We made cakes and cooked stews and made salads together too.

And yes, found a new weekend date in her too: Starbux and a movie with little one is the best. :)

Coffee and a Read

The other night, powerbooks sent me a newsletter of the new books to read for the long holiday break. And from those listed, I've come up with a few of my MUST BUY MUST READ selection:

* Paulo Coelho: The complete collection - it includes all 11 books with my most fave, the Zahir, and Brida right smack in the middle. It doesn't really cost much too :D yey!

* The Boleyn Inheritance (Philippa Gregory) - If you loved the movie The Other Boleyn Girl, you must love this book as well. With the way the synopsis is written, you can already say it's one helluva melodramatic history.

* The Story of Edgar Sawtelle (David Wroblewski) - is a tale about a born mute who has lived within his comfortzone, with loving parents and a loyal friend. When life's tragedies befall, he was forced to flee his home, grow up and returns homeward a changed man: strong and determined. MUST READ!

* One Day at a Time (Danielle Steel) - my choice romance novel, just to complete my picks lolz

I've made some room renovations and have put up a nook for me and Coco to snuggle and read a good book- a window seat with a nice book shelf on the side. Will post pictures soon when I finish painting them!

Do-it-Yourself things, love.

SUNDAYS with old and new memories :D

One Day, I woke up with a little bump.


(At six weeks)

And God told me, the little bump is growing...


(At nine weeks)

After a few trips and some good shopping, the little bump is ready to come out! And i've learned it's a SHE. who will adore zara, shoes and dashing D!



When SHE finally did, I felt my heart leap. felt everything settle. AND I've witnessed my first miracle.


(Coco at 5 days old.)



I laugh when I first heard her giggle..



SHIVERED when I gave her her first bath, wondering how I would..



Watched her sleep, just watched her breathe..


(Coco at 2 months)



She learned to say coo, I cried when she first said Mommy. then out came the words: Tita, Titin, Lamie, Lola...









Then suddenly, she turns 7 months.



AND then started learning to walk..


(Coco at 10 months)

and going on road trips with moi and the family.







Then suddenly, I find this little girl, always running around:D




With her little head sprouting curls here and there



who loves to sing and dance



and make faces




.... And today, she's learned to run around the house with a new mantra. lolz
Still the baby in our family, the light of my life. I heart my little one.



Thanks baby bear for taking the old piks out, I love nostalgic Sundays!!

Racing to WIN

I ran my first kilometer in months!

and as i feel the wind, my foot on solid ground, i felt my lungs burn, my muscles move and my mind race. and i've never felt so alive. never felt this good too.

Been so long since I ran, I forgot how much I love it.

Lil one went with me and watched me as I go lap after lap and cheered me on like a pro squad: "go for the gold, ma" she screamed and screamed lolz the little rascal always, always supported me in my every endeavor. :)

And we walked the cool down laps together, baby steps, hand in hand and we talked about how beautiful it is to be just outside. She told me about the stars she saw during Science Day and described in detail how they twinkle and create pictures in the sky.



I told her about constellations and the planets far away and she too started her story about fungus in barbieland.. and how it's just a figment of MY imagination-- made me realize how much she has grown!

My baby isn't a baby anymore!! Well, she will always my baby... the same little bundle I cradle at night. BUT she's just growing and growing everyday.

I have NORMAL conversations with her. She voices out her opinion. rarely throws fits for no reason anymore. has learned to draw stick people (with my fave: Mom and Coco with curly hair hihi). She doesn't wear her diapers anymore, refuses to eat pork cuz she says it's not healthy...

Tonight, she told me she doesn't wanna use duckie anymore. Cuz she could sit on the toilet seat without falling into it. AND it just hit me!

You see, the world really doesn't stop, and this lil baby I have is my only reason why things are moving forward.

I am lucky to have such a wonderful daughter. I am lucky to be a mother. And I don't wanna waste any moment of this beautiful luck, because my very existence is defined by being a mother to Coco.

It is because of this luck, I want to continuously improve myself and the life that me and my daughter have. I know it's a bit too early for resolutions but I have made my headstart for 2011 just cause I want to start it better.

This year, I've had a million surprises. A handful opportunities and an infinite number of blessings.

As I want the luck to go on until next, I am taking my faith and hope in my palm and hold my heart for my God to keep.



And I told myself, this crazy ass positive change that I want to happen is really trying. But by just remembering that it is for this lil hand that clasps mine, I have to TOUGH it out.

Did you know that the best things in life happen after you stumble? And that the best aren't always what we have planned out but have accidentally discovered?

Well... tonight, I don't feel so alone anymore. AND I feel like I understand why things happened. All i KNOW is that yes, I am happy. I am not just trying to be a good mother.

I am DOING the little steps. For the little hand that clutches mine, I have all my reason to tough it out. Yes, go for gold.