Of noise and cheers

A week back, I couldn't stop writing. The words just kept pouring in, like rain showers on a rainy season, it's just bound to come around. Suddenly, I find myself staring at the monitor wishing for a drop. Thinking nothing, doing nothing, writing nothing.

Writing anything but something I badly wanna write about.

Tonight, I had dinner with two of my best friends in the whole world. It's been ten short years since we sat at the back row on agri class trying to hatch chicks and sneaking out to buy tempura and lots of coke. The four of us- B,K,Y and me cannot be any different than night and day or black and white. We are four crazies in different suits. But for the life of me, I couldn't imagine a life without them. And I feel overwhelmed by how blessed I am to have friends who know me by heart.

They love me for who I am and we love each other like blood sisters. Remember the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants? like that. Maybe even more. If you search a little more closely, you'll find a lot of shiny gems like BYK (and my sis C, cuz T,K), and my dearests A,J,M,R.. and the new ones I found along the way (D,B,R).

They were there when I struggled with my huge belly lost in the maze of M. Y did a week-end bed rest when my OB advised me to do so. They were there when I (or C) couldn't even begin to understand what being in the ICU means. K flew in from Amsterdam and C from Hongkong, straight into Med City when I couldn't cry anymore because I'm too scared. They were there when all I wanted to do was crawl in and die. They were there with a phone cradled on their shoulders frantically trying to spew words of advice oceans away.

They were there when I first held my little girl in my arms and thanked God for such a bundle of joy. They listened to me talk endlessly about lil one, loved her equally the same too. They gave her hugs and laughter and loved us like any family would welcome a new one.

They were there when my little one first learned to walk. first learned to talk. first learned to blow her birthday candle. first learned the meaning of love. first learned how to ride the bike. They were there in every single turn.

My first promotion. My crazy ass achievements. My twisted writing stints. my first attempt in baking and cooking.

My best friends - We bickered, we bitched, we could even scratch out each other's eyeballs sometimes but we were always the four peas in a pod, the four-leaf clover in a sea of grass. We still are plainly,simply us- like the same four lil girls in sailor uniforms struggling to balance physics, literature, pressure and dreams.

Single motherhood surely has the bad days- when tired, sad, lonely, overwhelmed has just been mashed up so you couldn't tell the difference. I have always believed that losing and winning is just the same - like the one from glee: the cheers and the boos are both the same, they're just noise. The only difference is the attitude on how we take them in.

Yeah, I have been in a long bumpy ride more than I have anticipated, and not every turn has been great. But strapped beside me is my little one, plus my four best friends, a loving sister, a string of beautiful heart-ed friends, my whole crazy beautiful family and my faith- and I know that however bumpy this road is gonna be, I'll get there.

One day at a time.

One turn at a time.

Once we were 18

Once I was 18, and I saw the world as one big adventure.
I hopped on planes, rode on buses
throw caution in the air
and chased the wind.

Once I was 18, I believed in true love
and wished for happy ever after
Watched as prince rode one after another
and wondered when mine would come

Once I was 18, I dreamed of big dreams
walked like there's no tomorrow
and thought the Universe conspires
for one thing my heart desires

Once I was 18, and then I was no more.

For the first time in almost ten years, I attended a debut. Unlike the traditional 18 dances, 18 candles, H's party was Korean inspired and everything was done in the one thing she loves most: Princess Hours.

Indeed, H looked every part of it.



I wished her more adventures to record and to write about. And shared that life is her story, she chooses what to write, she decides which happens next. And if ever she does make a tiny mistake, she could always press the delete button. haha but more importantly, I wished for H to continue writing, but to choose her words wisely, so one day she can look back and say her story was as perfect as that of princess hours.



And my closest friends tried dressing up for our choice korean character :) And we felt not really 18, but younger than we are now. lol One came as ninja assassin, another as a Korean Pop Princess, me from a character in Endless Love (OMG-LOL!!), one from Full House and another from a separate korean soap.

Would you actually believe we enjoyed our night?

For one night, it felt like we were 18 again. Only this time, wiser. more careful. more uhm, more on the reality side. lol at one point, it indeed felt like we were faculty members during a JS prom. lolz

I was teary eyed when H's dad took her for the first dance, when H's sister P said her piece as her first happiness, and I was beaming proud when I heard my friend T read her mother's message to the debutante. For what it really is, H's 18th birthday was a magical moment, filled with love, hope, laughter- for her and her family and certainly, for us too.

More love. Happy Birthday H!