I like someone.
And he likes me back.
Although it may not be IT, but it is something.
And for the first time, in such a crazy long time, I actually feel......
* that I am capable of loving another person other than my little girl.
And my immediate family.
And my closest friends.
* that the world is actually really colorful (LOL) and not just black and white
* that I am capable of truly discarding every ounce of bitterness left inside
* that there is a possibility of me actually free falling in love with someone... well, concrete.
So, most days recently, I find myself.......
*grinning
*being thankful for the days in between
*happy, loved, better
But in nights like tonight, I also find myself thinking about many things at once.
Taking in the reigns of caution and throwing most stars in the eyes to the wind.
Maybe, I am trying to rationalize so many feelings at once. Or maybe just putting a logical chain to my otherwise illogical heart.
And I get to think of my fears and apprehensions;
of my expectations and/or his.
of the options and considerations;
Maybe just something to burst this bubble and maybe, curb the emotions a bit.
But you know, I am not rushing.
We aren't rushing.
So there is no need to qualify things right away.
I have been alone for six years, four months and two days to waste all those days of contemplation with just another mistake.
But mistake or not,
I will no longer deprive myself of feeling this happy.
And I will not stop myself from falling for someone who MAYBE can actually truly love me (like this)
and who MAYBE i can actually truly love (like that)
So, I promise, to take it one day at a time.
One conversation at a time.
One happy moment at a time.
And allow myself to, not free fall, but maybe, if I am lucky, to fall in love.
with someone who is truly a mountain at my back.
Thank you, God, for second chances in life.
