The other night, I got home from a long day's work and found my little one burning with fever.
And I almost panicked and wondered aloud how can she still have 38 temp when she's already got medicine for her asthma, for her fever, for her cough... AND I found her sitter with grandma's sitter, watching soap after soap, forgetting she also needs Paracetamol besides the cold baths. Forgetting that the medicine sched, my numbers, the emergency phone pasted on the fridge is there for a reason. I keep calling every two hours for a reason: DON't give me the "SHE's OKAY" when my little girl isn't!
I almost went ballistic.
I was way over my head mad. But I didn't say a word. Because I cried. Out of frustration, out of tiredness, out of despair.. I'm not quite sure. I cried because I feel like I just couldn't take it in anymore.
30 Minutes after I gave Coco the fever meds, and a few ice trays and bowls of cold water later, her temperature went back to 36.8. And finally, my little girl was able to sleep.
Someone told me that I was mad at myself more than at the yaya. And that I should not pass on my responsibilities to the sitter because primarily, I should be the one at her bedside.
AND that STING. Still makes me cry to hear it reverberate in my head.
Because if I had not been out working, trying to stay financially afloat, providing for my little one's future, THEN I deserved to be told that. If I had been wasting a minute sitting somewhere and letting the yaya administer care alone, then I deserved to be slapped with the word irresponsible.
BUT I wasn't.
I was out 14 hours because I have a dayjob, a second marketing job and a crazy ass schedule of sprinting from the farm,to the bank, to the marketing stint and back home. AND in between those hours, I've taken my little girl to her pulmo, bought medicines, nebulized or in Coco's better days, getting her a new bike or taking her out to lunch. AND at night, I don't even sleep because I administer medicine and cold baths. Or writing because we have bills to pay and savings to keep!
She thinks my life is easy and laid-back. Just because I hired two sitters to ensure the safety of my little one does not mean I am not a hands-on mom. Just because I don't look pauper-ish doesn't mean I have no financial troubles. Just because I am always in control doesn't mean that things don't go spinning.
Just because I can afford to bark orders and have multiple jobs doesn't mean that I am less of a mother.
Because primarily, I am a mother. Above all else, I am Coco's mom. And I am also her dad. Have you ever tried being both? Tell me how easy it is.
Above all else, my little girl comes first. In everything I do, Coco comes first. One day, when Coco wakes up and asks who the hell I am and I wake up not knowing ever inch and every smell of my little girl, then maybe I can be called irresponsible.
BUT today, don't call me that. Because I may be a lot of things but I certainly am not that. Never that.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
WHY THE BILLS
Dear CEPALCO,
I stayed home for the first half of my working day because I wasn't feeling too well. My tummy has been making cartwheels and sommersaults since last night And I find it hard to get out of bed and into my element.
Then the electricity reading came. And I was dumbfounded and I felt worse. WTF happened to lower energy consumption? HOW THE HELL CAN MY ELECTRIC BILL ROCKET?! When I already make the conscious efforts in conserving every energy consumption.
I have lessen the hours of turning the air condition on. Since it's the rainy season, we've made conscious efforts in setting it on beyond 8PM and turning it off at exactly 5AM.
I have bought additional avent bottles and nipples so it is absolutely unnecessary to sterilize every day.
I have cut down on FB time and dvd time to cut the unnecessary consumption.
I've switched to night lights instead of keeping one door light open.
I cut down the days of using the treadmill and opted to run in the field.
I seriously cleaned the ref, the aircon filters and I don't use the microwave anymore.
What the hell more should I do and reduce this effin bill?? It's like the more I save, the faster the electricity reading goes. And the more I work, the more bills pile up. Where's the justice here?
Sigh.the amount I pay for my bill is tantamount to a can of Coco's milk, the yaya's monthly salary, Coco's tuition, the lunch meals, the weekend shopping all rolled into one! Imagine that..
Please be considerate and beat this single mom not too much. It gets way overboard sometimes.
I stayed home for the first half of my working day because I wasn't feeling too well. My tummy has been making cartwheels and sommersaults since last night And I find it hard to get out of bed and into my element.
Then the electricity reading came. And I was dumbfounded and I felt worse. WTF happened to lower energy consumption? HOW THE HELL CAN MY ELECTRIC BILL ROCKET?! When I already make the conscious efforts in conserving every energy consumption.
I have lessen the hours of turning the air condition on. Since it's the rainy season, we've made conscious efforts in setting it on beyond 8PM and turning it off at exactly 5AM.
I have bought additional avent bottles and nipples so it is absolutely unnecessary to sterilize every day.
I have cut down on FB time and dvd time to cut the unnecessary consumption.
I've switched to night lights instead of keeping one door light open.
I cut down the days of using the treadmill and opted to run in the field.
I seriously cleaned the ref, the aircon filters and I don't use the microwave anymore.
What the hell more should I do and reduce this effin bill?? It's like the more I save, the faster the electricity reading goes. And the more I work, the more bills pile up. Where's the justice here?
Sigh.the amount I pay for my bill is tantamount to a can of Coco's milk, the yaya's monthly salary, Coco's tuition, the lunch meals, the weekend shopping all rolled into one! Imagine that..
Please be considerate and beat this single mom not too much. It gets way overboard sometimes.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Judas' Kiss
I have always been the kind of person who take in stray dogs, no matter how unwanted they seem to appear, the lost puppy eyes always seem to get me. I'm not so sure why, but I have always this soft spot for the underdogs. I am the champion of the losers.
The only person who could bitch so much and still keep one spot open for the needing. I admit, I may be sooo strong that it's either you love me or you hate me. Nothing in between. But I still am capable of being gooey and soft and gullible more than necessary.
And more often than not, this kindness has always gotten back to me like a snake snapping my head off. Like a bad dream. Like a kiss from Judas.
For a moment, when everything seemed to be spinning out of control, I wonder at how things can sound so wrong, so construed, so twisted... And I prayed that the truth will come out, knowing that my conscience is clear and that all things being thrown at me are just lies.
True enough, God has strung for me a series of events that have had me confused, sad, angry, bewildered, betrayed.. And after all the storm, the crazy talks and then finally, the truth has come to set things straight.
I don't need to prove myself to anyone anymore, I learned. Because all that I have said, all that I have known, everything that I have held in my heart are right. Because I have stayed on the right.
It pained me to learn that most of the "truths" that were served to me (and served to the other end) were lies, properly manipulated, half-baked deductions of a very pitiful mind. It hurt to know and to realize that the lost sheep with the lost puppy eyes was a snake capable of betrayal. No matter how you dress the snake in a sheep's clothing, the snake will always strike with a venom capable of killing. Always.
What a shame. I could have been the best of a friend. No, I was the best kind of friend you'd ever gonna get.
Now that I have seen the whole picture, I see the past months clearly, walking in a daze is no longer the case. And I understand the reason why things happened, and I am thankful that now, I am able to see THIS.
I may feel rotten for being twisted like a puppet on a string, but for whatever, I was honest with my actions, my thoughts, my friendship. I was a good friend. I am a good friend - and if it were intentional or not from the other person's end, it doesn't really matter anymore.
It is not I who is on the losing end.
If Jesus can forgive Judas, then I, who is merely a mortal and a servant, can surely forgive too. But all this, all of this shall happen in time.
The only person who could bitch so much and still keep one spot open for the needing. I admit, I may be sooo strong that it's either you love me or you hate me. Nothing in between. But I still am capable of being gooey and soft and gullible more than necessary.
And more often than not, this kindness has always gotten back to me like a snake snapping my head off. Like a bad dream. Like a kiss from Judas.
For a moment, when everything seemed to be spinning out of control, I wonder at how things can sound so wrong, so construed, so twisted... And I prayed that the truth will come out, knowing that my conscience is clear and that all things being thrown at me are just lies.
True enough, God has strung for me a series of events that have had me confused, sad, angry, bewildered, betrayed.. And after all the storm, the crazy talks and then finally, the truth has come to set things straight.
I don't need to prove myself to anyone anymore, I learned. Because all that I have said, all that I have known, everything that I have held in my heart are right. Because I have stayed on the right.
It pained me to learn that most of the "truths" that were served to me (and served to the other end) were lies, properly manipulated, half-baked deductions of a very pitiful mind. It hurt to know and to realize that the lost sheep with the lost puppy eyes was a snake capable of betrayal. No matter how you dress the snake in a sheep's clothing, the snake will always strike with a venom capable of killing. Always.
What a shame. I could have been the best of a friend. No, I was the best kind of friend you'd ever gonna get.
Now that I have seen the whole picture, I see the past months clearly, walking in a daze is no longer the case. And I understand the reason why things happened, and I am thankful that now, I am able to see THIS.
I may feel rotten for being twisted like a puppet on a string, but for whatever, I was honest with my actions, my thoughts, my friendship. I was a good friend. I am a good friend - and if it were intentional or not from the other person's end, it doesn't really matter anymore.
It is not I who is on the losing end.
If Jesus can forgive Judas, then I, who is merely a mortal and a servant, can surely forgive too. But all this, all of this shall happen in time.
New Things New Milestones
Coco is growing up fast. She's almost racing to jump to kindergarten and before I know it, she's on her way to College. sigh. She's getting her first real bike on Monday! Upgrading from the pink plastic training bike, Coco will be riding the real training bike next weekend. :) She's getting one with training wheels though. But it's got a basket on the front. And sturdy tires.
Little girl got an early birthday present from Lola O and Booboo and Yes, she's getting the vintage one, without the princess paints and overpriced toy from the mall. Her first Princess bike is now junked in the corner, with the pink tires dirty from riding on mud- poor bikey!
We're rummaging vintage pictures for that one she's gonna pick:
Is it gonna be spunky?
Or belle?
And she couldn't help jumping up and down out of joy- which automatically brings tears to my eyes. And with which I completely forgot that I wanted to let her wait before buying anything.
I've always wanted to buy Coco a bike- i felt like it's supposed to be a mommie thing. But her first bike came with a big ribbon, which Lola Mommie carefully wrapped herself. Coco called her new toy bikey. And I told myself, get another one. And so I promised her I'll buy her a new one on her birthday. Two months before the said date, another one will come in with a huge ribbon on Monday. sigh.
I know, I'm just greedy. I want the first moments in her life and the milestones to be from me. LOL. But the feeling fades when you see her eyes sparkle and her face filled with glee. And I am just thankful that my little one is blessed with a lot of people loving her.
And so, Coco tells me- you'll just have to have it painted pink and purple, Ma. And i think, what a brilliant idea, kiddo. :)
Little girl got an early birthday present from Lola O and Booboo and Yes, she's getting the vintage one, without the princess paints and overpriced toy from the mall. Her first Princess bike is now junked in the corner, with the pink tires dirty from riding on mud- poor bikey!
We're rummaging vintage pictures for that one she's gonna pick:
Is it gonna be spunky?
Or belle?
And she couldn't help jumping up and down out of joy- which automatically brings tears to my eyes. And with which I completely forgot that I wanted to let her wait before buying anything.
I've always wanted to buy Coco a bike- i felt like it's supposed to be a mommie thing. But her first bike came with a big ribbon, which Lola Mommie carefully wrapped herself. Coco called her new toy bikey. And I told myself, get another one. And so I promised her I'll buy her a new one on her birthday. Two months before the said date, another one will come in with a huge ribbon on Monday. sigh.
I know, I'm just greedy. I want the first moments in her life and the milestones to be from me. LOL. But the feeling fades when you see her eyes sparkle and her face filled with glee. And I am just thankful that my little one is blessed with a lot of people loving her.
And so, Coco tells me- you'll just have to have it painted pink and purple, Ma. And i think, what a brilliant idea, kiddo. :)
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Once we were 18
Once I was 18, and I saw the world as one big adventure.
I hopped on planes, rode on buses
throw caution in the air
and chased the wind.
Once I was 18, I believed in true love
and wished for happy ever after
Watched as prince rode one after another
and wondered when mine would come
Once I was 18, I dreamed of big dreams
walked like there's no tomorrow
and thought the Universe conspires
for one thing my heart desires
Once I was 18, and then I was no more.
For the first time in almost ten years, I attended a debut. Unlike the traditional 18 dances, 18 candles, H's party was Korean inspired and everything was done in the one thing she loves most: Princess Hours.
Indeed, H looked every part of it.
I wished her more adventures to record and to write about. And shared that life is her story, she chooses what to write, she decides which happens next. And if ever she does make a tiny mistake, she could always press the delete button. haha but more importantly, I wished for H to continue writing, but to choose her words wisely, so one day she can look back and say her story was as perfect as that of princess hours.
And my closest friends tried dressing up for our choice korean character :) And we felt not really 18, but younger than we are now. lol One came as ninja assassin, another as a Korean Pop Princess, me from a character in Endless Love (OMG-LOL!!), one from Full House and another from a separate korean soap.
Would you actually believe we enjoyed our night?
For one night, it felt like we were 18 again. Only this time, wiser. more careful. more uhm, more on the reality side. lol at one point, it indeed felt like we were faculty members during a JS prom. lolz
I was teary eyed when H's dad took her for the first dance, when H's sister P said her piece as her first happiness, and I was beaming proud when I heard my friend T read her mother's message to the debutante. For what it really is, H's 18th birthday was a magical moment, filled with love, hope, laughter- for her and her family and certainly, for us too.
More love. Happy Birthday H!
I hopped on planes, rode on buses
throw caution in the air
and chased the wind.
Once I was 18, I believed in true love
and wished for happy ever after
Watched as prince rode one after another
and wondered when mine would come
Once I was 18, I dreamed of big dreams
walked like there's no tomorrow
and thought the Universe conspires
for one thing my heart desires
Once I was 18, and then I was no more.
For the first time in almost ten years, I attended a debut. Unlike the traditional 18 dances, 18 candles, H's party was Korean inspired and everything was done in the one thing she loves most: Princess Hours.
Indeed, H looked every part of it.
I wished her more adventures to record and to write about. And shared that life is her story, she chooses what to write, she decides which happens next. And if ever she does make a tiny mistake, she could always press the delete button. haha but more importantly, I wished for H to continue writing, but to choose her words wisely, so one day she can look back and say her story was as perfect as that of princess hours.
And my closest friends tried dressing up for our choice korean character :) And we felt not really 18, but younger than we are now. lol One came as ninja assassin, another as a Korean Pop Princess, me from a character in Endless Love (OMG-LOL!!), one from Full House and another from a separate korean soap.
Would you actually believe we enjoyed our night?
For one night, it felt like we were 18 again. Only this time, wiser. more careful. more uhm, more on the reality side. lol at one point, it indeed felt like we were faculty members during a JS prom. lolz
I was teary eyed when H's dad took her for the first dance, when H's sister P said her piece as her first happiness, and I was beaming proud when I heard my friend T read her mother's message to the debutante. For what it really is, H's 18th birthday was a magical moment, filled with love, hope, laughter- for her and her family and certainly, for us too.
More love. Happy Birthday H!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Long weekends, the single mommie way
I've been writing since sunrise, and i'm still writing, spewing words from God knows where. The much research and medical jargon from this week's topic make my head spin a bit, thus the much needed break.
Little one is upstairs, screaming at me to allow her to go to our neighbor's (christie's place), a few blocks away. And I tell her again and again, as my feeble attempt in saying NO, that we should just stay home, in our vintage duyan and bask at the day's beautiful sun. And she frowns and paces back and forth repeatedly. Until she gave up and turned her attention to lazy cats in the veranda.
Since when kids her age can go outside the gate and stay at a neighbor's place?? NEVER. Not in my lifetime! When I was little, the closest thing I got to LAAG is at my cousin T's place, which was about ten steps from where we live. We've always managed to play indoors, or within our gated walls. lol
It's long weekend since Saturday, another lazy day today plus tomorrow makes mom and lil girl happy. Little one was busy running around the living room, singing her heart out to some MYMP song. When lola Mommie came over for some chit chat, some dessert, and some crazy realizations and I fall in love with the idea of staying home with my little girl for stretches of time.
We're cooking the traditional misua for lunch, and some grilled fresh we bought this morning from the local market. Sometimes, I think about going full time with my writing- I could earn as much, and work from home! And throw the day job out the window. Just so I could have these weekend everyday moments with little one. BUT every time I seriously think about it, the dream of just being a writer stays at the losing end. How the hell can I afford a 20K toddler school if I let my day job go?
And so, before I go back to my real day job on Wednesday and start making account proposals and packages, i'm going to enjoy my beautiful long weekend with my little one and family. Writing article after article (so we can buy a new bike -Coco haha), cooking misua, whipping some fancy dessert, playing Barbie and tea with lil one researching and balancing checkbooks on the side should ought to take up most of my long weekend.
Don't you just love it? The chaos and the joys of single mothering. Love.
Little one is upstairs, screaming at me to allow her to go to our neighbor's (christie's place), a few blocks away. And I tell her again and again, as my feeble attempt in saying NO, that we should just stay home, in our vintage duyan and bask at the day's beautiful sun. And she frowns and paces back and forth repeatedly. Until she gave up and turned her attention to lazy cats in the veranda.
Since when kids her age can go outside the gate and stay at a neighbor's place?? NEVER. Not in my lifetime! When I was little, the closest thing I got to LAAG is at my cousin T's place, which was about ten steps from where we live. We've always managed to play indoors, or within our gated walls. lol
It's long weekend since Saturday, another lazy day today plus tomorrow makes mom and lil girl happy. Little one was busy running around the living room, singing her heart out to some MYMP song. When lola Mommie came over for some chit chat, some dessert, and some crazy realizations and I fall in love with the idea of staying home with my little girl for stretches of time.
We're cooking the traditional misua for lunch, and some grilled fresh we bought this morning from the local market. Sometimes, I think about going full time with my writing- I could earn as much, and work from home! And throw the day job out the window. Just so I could have these weekend everyday moments with little one. BUT every time I seriously think about it, the dream of just being a writer stays at the losing end. How the hell can I afford a 20K toddler school if I let my day job go?
And so, before I go back to my real day job on Wednesday and start making account proposals and packages, i'm going to enjoy my beautiful long weekend with my little one and family. Writing article after article (so we can buy a new bike -Coco haha), cooking misua, whipping some fancy dessert, playing Barbie and tea with lil one researching and balancing checkbooks on the side should ought to take up most of my long weekend.
Don't you just love it? The chaos and the joys of single mothering. Love.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
A very Filipino Wedding
Last night was J and G's very Filipino wedding. Contrary to the usual weddings i've attended, this one has negated any traditional misconception of a boring wedding: It was definitely anything but boring!!
The whole ceremony, dinner celebration and setting reflected the couple's personalities. The AVP by Teddy Salido and pre-engagement shoot by Mike Sia painted a traditional courtship and engagement, and it was a refreshing surprise and break from the usual pre-nups we witness.
It was cheezy, yes, but in a very Filipino way!
The celebration was heartwarming yet crazy funny too. It was formal, but the couple was so wacky, the parents and relatives were hip, it was even cool!
Of course, the couple was as radiant as the first sunshine,
the beautiful bride was simply beautiful
and the place was just right.
As it was Independence Day, the couple decided for a Filipiniana inspired wedding. Most of us dressed the part,
And played the part of the classic Filipina and Filipino. The wedding party went through the traditional cutting of the cake, kissing and letting go of the doves, first gala dance of the couple with gifts from guests
And for the first time in a really long time, I am proud to be Filipino.
With the rich culture that we have, vast natural resources and a community of happy, optimistic, and magnanimous people, we can all be proud that we are.
Thanks J and G, for making us part of your first celebration as a couple, and we wish you continued blessings, a hundred years of happiness, tradition, laughter and a true love aptly reflected by your AVP Harana.
And thank you for the very Filipino wedding, yours was indeed a wedding that the whole nation celebrated with.
Cheers!!
*pictures by DJVillamor (thanks D!!)
The whole ceremony, dinner celebration and setting reflected the couple's personalities. The AVP by Teddy Salido and pre-engagement shoot by Mike Sia painted a traditional courtship and engagement, and it was a refreshing surprise and break from the usual pre-nups we witness.
It was cheezy, yes, but in a very Filipino way!
The celebration was heartwarming yet crazy funny too. It was formal, but the couple was so wacky, the parents and relatives were hip, it was even cool!
Of course, the couple was as radiant as the first sunshine,
the beautiful bride was simply beautiful
and the place was just right.
As it was Independence Day, the couple decided for a Filipiniana inspired wedding. Most of us dressed the part,
And played the part of the classic Filipina and Filipino. The wedding party went through the traditional cutting of the cake, kissing and letting go of the doves, first gala dance of the couple with gifts from guests
And for the first time in a really long time, I am proud to be Filipino.
With the rich culture that we have, vast natural resources and a community of happy, optimistic, and magnanimous people, we can all be proud that we are.
Thanks J and G, for making us part of your first celebration as a couple, and we wish you continued blessings, a hundred years of happiness, tradition, laughter and a true love aptly reflected by your AVP Harana.
And thank you for the very Filipino wedding, yours was indeed a wedding that the whole nation celebrated with.
Cheers!!
*pictures by DJVillamor (thanks D!!)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
An Open Letter to Anonymous
I didn't know you still stalk my blog? WOW. I applaud your obsession, errr, your determination?
Perhaps it's the vanity of imagining reading about yourself? Or is it the attention that you crave?
There is a reason why this blogspot is not published on your wall, it's because nothing here is for you. Contrary to what you believe in, these writings are my personal rantings and my personal opinion. If you want to read about yourself, go stalk your own Facebook page. If you could, create a blogspot of your own.
Don't you ever get tired of feeling angst towards the world?
Don't you ever get sick of trying to seek sympathy from peope?
Don't you ever get tired of being you?
Don't you ever get sick reading about me, the person you hate most in this world?
That kinda sucks. oh, that's just so saaaaaadddd.
If you hate this blog so much, quit reading through it. You'll only hate me and end up hating yourself more.
Anonymous ei? BS. You just signed your own conviction.
Haters, haters, what will the world be without our dear haters? :)
Perhaps it's the vanity of imagining reading about yourself? Or is it the attention that you crave?
There is a reason why this blogspot is not published on your wall, it's because nothing here is for you. Contrary to what you believe in, these writings are my personal rantings and my personal opinion. If you want to read about yourself, go stalk your own Facebook page. If you could, create a blogspot of your own.
Don't you ever get tired of feeling angst towards the world?
Don't you ever get sick of trying to seek sympathy from peope?
Don't you ever get tired of being you?
Don't you ever get sick reading about me, the person you hate most in this world?
That kinda sucks. oh, that's just so saaaaaadddd.
If you hate this blog so much, quit reading through it. You'll only hate me and end up hating yourself more.
Anonymous ei? BS. You just signed your own conviction.
Haters, haters, what will the world be without our dear haters? :)
When Inday Goes to School
Coco's yaya starts school this morning!!
More than her, I am as excited as a new mom could be!! We started buying her school supplies early this month, and started picking out bags, shoes, those kinda stuff only yesterday. Only because, we all thought school starts on the 13th. OMG!
Inday goes to Sunday School, which offers high school education to young people who only have Sunday to study. They begin early at 7.30 and finishes at 5.30, four Sundays a month. For the rest of the year, her day off is focused on studying and learning and she gets this renewed hope that she can still make her dreams come true. It's almost like advance classes where they cram the 5-days worth of weekday education into one 9-hour Sunday teaching.
A lot of people are more blessed than Inday, having full time day jobs and finishing school without encountering financial difficulties at one point. I am not sure if real world problems have caught up in their little space that they create pseudo problems to pass time- and it saddens me how these people, who are able to stand with high heels and a chip on the shoulder, walk around like education ruined things for them. Or worse, like education was just part of the game plan and meant nothing in the process.
I am blessed with a wonderful family who has supported me in all my endeavors. But I also have had a share of my own reality problems that keep focus and with feet on the ground. Sometimes, I forget the wonderful lessons i have learned, and I forget what matters most in our days.
And when I saw Inday, all ready and eager to go to School this morning, I am reminded of the simple things that make this life a better one. Most girls her age are well into College, and here she is, ready to take on Second year High. She really is determined to finish the race.
Without batting an eyelash, without taking off that grin, Inday thanks me for all of this.
And I am almost moved to tears. Because I know, that by just giving her what she deserves, I have revived a hope for a better future that was almost forgotten. And I know, that deep down, I am sure, at least this person sees me as NOT the bitch everyone thinks me to be.
I heart U, Sunday.
More than her, I am as excited as a new mom could be!! We started buying her school supplies early this month, and started picking out bags, shoes, those kinda stuff only yesterday. Only because, we all thought school starts on the 13th. OMG!
Inday goes to Sunday School, which offers high school education to young people who only have Sunday to study. They begin early at 7.30 and finishes at 5.30, four Sundays a month. For the rest of the year, her day off is focused on studying and learning and she gets this renewed hope that she can still make her dreams come true. It's almost like advance classes where they cram the 5-days worth of weekday education into one 9-hour Sunday teaching.
A lot of people are more blessed than Inday, having full time day jobs and finishing school without encountering financial difficulties at one point. I am not sure if real world problems have caught up in their little space that they create pseudo problems to pass time- and it saddens me how these people, who are able to stand with high heels and a chip on the shoulder, walk around like education ruined things for them. Or worse, like education was just part of the game plan and meant nothing in the process.
I am blessed with a wonderful family who has supported me in all my endeavors. But I also have had a share of my own reality problems that keep focus and with feet on the ground. Sometimes, I forget the wonderful lessons i have learned, and I forget what matters most in our days.
And when I saw Inday, all ready and eager to go to School this morning, I am reminded of the simple things that make this life a better one. Most girls her age are well into College, and here she is, ready to take on Second year High. She really is determined to finish the race.
Without batting an eyelash, without taking off that grin, Inday thanks me for all of this.
And I am almost moved to tears. Because I know, that by just giving her what she deserves, I have revived a hope for a better future that was almost forgotten. And I know, that deep down, I am sure, at least this person sees me as NOT the bitch everyone thinks me to be.
I heart U, Sunday.
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