Coco's Fashion Draft

Sunday morning, i'm still feeling sick. The colds have really exponentially gotten worse. And i have already downed mugs of iced lemon since I woke up. My head still feels like a ton, but no sickie is gonna stop me from enjoying the sunday sun!

Coco and i rummaged through her closet to plan out her outfits for the next few days. Fiestas here are big, and this year, i'm staying home to partake in the fiesta celebration! I am amazingly and surprisingly excited! So is my lil gurl... we took out some dresses and mixed and matched with her choices. And when Lola Mommie came in and saw the hulahoo, they both agreed to stage a pseudo photo shoot! And so, i happily obliged and snapped pictures away.





Isn't my little girl just pretty?? Snap snap snap away!
I wish i'd feel better soon. I promise quit smoking, sleep early and drink more vit C. sigh.

Friends make the World complete.

I came home from Lot's birthday dinner-slash-drinks. And i feel totally at peace. A bottle of vodka and two more mudshakes left us on a good laugh trip and some sober conversations. It was a good night with my girls. When I'm feeling empty, too sad, too whatever, these girls always come around. For one reason or another, being with Lot, Yen and Cookums always feels like home.

No matter the days or years, short distance or oceans apart, it never changes. it's always good to come home to a really good set of friends.No crazy conversations required. Just being there. sitting across each other, exchanging old tales and new dreams, I felt so much better. I feel sooo much better.

Thank you God, for giving me these people, whom I hold dear. For the times they've kept me sane, talked me through crazy situations, or for simply sharing dreams together. My life is better because of them.

And I wish for more nights like these. AND tomorrow, is another good one. Au revoir Lot, your send off will undoubtedly be the best.

Hundred Guba. and More! Tonight, I'll sleep a good night sleep, with my Coco tucked under the covers and some good writing, shut eye isn't too far away tonight. Good morning sunshine, good night Mr. Moon.

Tomorrow will be a beautiful day.

If the world is mum.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a great need to write. And so I did. And here I am, still writing and pounding words away. How is it that when you get older and further onto the calendar days, that sleeping becomes a small portion of your average day? I feel like we cram so much onto our days that if we could reduce the hours sleeping, we would.

I love waking up in the wee hours of the night. Everything is so quiet, with only the sounds of air conditioning running,Coco's light snoring, and my keyboards clicking. It's therapeutic. Almost surreal even. Remember when we used to light cigarettes in the middle of the night, outside the dorm rooms, catching that moonlight and glimpse of the wish-night star? With the cold breeze on your face and a wish upon your heart, the night with cigarettes on one hand and your heart on the other.. sometimes, those nights never really change.

Just taking in the silence of the moment, and hoping for the world to be less noisy when the sun comes up. Less raucous, less senseless chatter, less everything. Then you could hear the little whispers within and the realizations that you've been trying to avoid for years no end. Sometimes, it's just you and your little heart sitting together, not really caring about the chatter. Cuz finally, there is none. You know. Period. And the chance to just sit down and take everything else in, well, it doesn't come too often.

Silence. Hibernation. Whatever you call it, it has begun again. Lest I forget the beauty of staying still, keeping mum. Realizations or none, I like being this quiet. Sometimes, you just give up trying. or trying to understand. or whatever. Sometimes, there is just no point.

Monologue after monologue, this silence is the music playing playlist after playlist. Goodnight back, everyone. A few hours before the sun comes up. Off to dreamland once again. :D

When you won't feel, you can't understand

I don't wanna admit it. But it's true. I don't wanna see the signs, but I can hear the sirens. And as much as I'd like to completely ignore it, I couldn't. And so I get a haircut. Since my stylist, Peter, is on leave today, they gave me another one. And just so I could satisfy whatever it is that I am searching for, I agreed.

And I became Dora without the bangs.

It's all worse now. I look like a kid stuck in a twenty-something woman's body. Or a twenty-something woman in the midst of a mid-life crisis. Getting a haircut is supposed to make me feel better. Like online shopping. Like chocolates and thirty minutes of cardio. Like writing. But none really, actually works. Cuz I don't really even know why there's such a rain cloud hovering over me. BUT i don't feel like rationalizing emotions. Or probing deeper by writing more into this. Thus, I couldn't understand.

Have you ever felt this way? Like a million things yet you couldn't find a single word to describe whatever it is? Or if you do, you can't really say it. Cuz you don't really wanna admit it? I feel like crap. Some days i just gotta admit that.

I've been spending my weekends sleeping when my lil gurl is, cooking when I can, writing less, and watching movies more, dressing up online models and choosing clothes after clothes. And I know something is wrong. Cuz I also don't feel like talking. I feel like just keeping my mouth shut. Like most words have left me. Except when I'm with Coco, she lifts my spirits up in an instant. But now, that when she's asleep and I'm here, trying to string words together, I feel like just staring at the monitor. And doing nothing. Feeling nothing. Thinking about nothing.

SIGH. NOTHING is not even close. Cuz if it were, then I could have written a thousand words on the keywords assigned to me this week.

What gives??

Online Window Shopping! Only Better!

Look what I've been busy duin in the wee hours of the morning! I checked out my looklet.com account and I instantly forgot about the writing that I need to do. Weekend look? I just found it, online, on the weeeeee hours of Monday morning! I love you, Monday. I hope you won't beat me down too much!



Makes you wanna wish weekend is back already :D I'm positively excited for it!

Frog Princes on Hearts Day. WOW!

The problem with being a single parent is that you don't really know to which group you should be sitting with. You are neither SINGLE. nor MARRIED. But you are alone. And you have a kid. Treating yourself to a round of tequila with good friends seems ideal to take away this and that, but you always end up changing sheets and baking pasta instead, on Friday-rainy nights. Either would actually prove to be comforting.

All these because February is just around the corner. I hate hearts day. Did you know that an average of three people a day, come up to me and ask what I would be doing on V day? AND no, they're not asking for dates! LOL. They're just curious on how I would be spending it. And it is precisely because of these that I come to hate cheeziness on the day. I tell them I spend hearts day with my little one. That's cheezy enough right? But they always ALWAYS always say: No,no, you should go out on a date. Like a dinner date with some guy...

And I feel like, where on earth could I find a guy?? It's a trick question you know, when they start asking me about Vday. It's like stating the obvious and acting really surprised, wide eyed gaping mouth kinda surprised.

Seriously, I am okay being single single mommie. It may be surprising but it's true. I still believe in the happily ever after part, just in case you're formulating and spelling out B I TT E R in your brain. I still believe in One day and picket fences and frog princes too. It just so happens that I don't have one right now. FROG Prince or otherwise.

And I think: Maybe I should just really post a sign on our gate that says: WANTED DATE ON VDAY. How does that sound? Maybe the questions will stop pouring in.

LOL.

Pinoy Soaps make Good Comfort Entertainment

It's been raining the whole week. Rainy Days, Mondays through Sundays,always make me blue. It should be the weather. Gloomy as the skies, cold as the winds, it's freaking nice to just stay in bed. Makes you don't wanna eat. move. or even write.

I watched a new prime time pinoy soap last night. T suggested it to me, cuz she's having a blast trying to figure out the plot and quoting the lines. And so, instead of watching my Avatar DVD right away, i tuned in to pinoy drama. AND it is heavy drama! Cut in several scenes to make the story flow real quickly, it was really freakin heavy DRAMA! Like a Sharon Cuneta movie. Like the heartbreaking oldies Pangako of Regine and Aga. It was stupefyingly sad! You should have seen me cry my eyes out in 30 minutes, the whole time the show was running.. It was a mess.

The kind of show you gonna watch on a rainy night, in your PJs and Lazy Boi and some good old hot choco. Whattaway to end the Thursday and to begin the Friday. It was pure drama.

I cried more than in the avatar. It was three long hours of really good plot and great cinematic directing. It was awesome! I would like to go on and on about the realizations of that movie, but i'd rather not.

Cuz i cried a bucket more watching my Pinoy soap. LOL. Tonight, i'f it's still raining hard, i'll probably watch it again. G and K should cross paths in today's episode. LOL. go figure!

Luckiest Girl in the Whole Wide World!

I spent the night playing Barbie and House with Coco. She even brushed my hair, pretended to put make up on me and even agreed to take silly pictures with me. :D As she sleeps soundly and I start pounding words away, I feel I'm the luckiest person on this side of the planet.

She shared her Dora stickers with Christy this morning, greeted Christy with the brightest good morning Ting i've ever heard and led her to her stash of stickers, toys and more. And as I watched them play, goofed around and laughed hard, I could only thank God for giving me such a wonderful kid.



She knows how to say i love you mommie now, without me having to say i love you coco first. :) i mean, she has always been a sweet kid. always hugging and touching my face ever since she learned how to. But nothing beats the I love you mommie with a great big hug and a kiss from her.



She truly is the sunshine of our lives here. She's the laughter you'll hear at first sunrise. And the heavy snoring at night lol.

Tripping over her toys and cleaning up walls of crayon paintings, and spending numerous sleepless nights watching over her is all worth that one smile from my little gurl.

Aren't I really lucky? :D

Snail Mail Christmas Cards

Last night, christmas cards came in my mail. My little sister Corie and my cousin Ting sent the family individual Christmas cards about a month back, and last night, the big brown envelope came.

As I read mine and Coco's, I couldn't help crying. For the first time in months, I felt I really miss my little sister. God knows I do, but last night, I just felt that without her, the big partnership is just never the same.

She's my greatest ally. My best friend. I couldn't even lie to her cuz she knows me inside and out. It's funny how I forgot how beautiful it is to receive snail mails. It's not the usual hi, hello note we get in FB or emails. It was like really talking to her too. And as she said: For helping out when I'm snowed under; calling just to say hello with news you think I'd like to know.. I felt my heart heave a heavy sigh. I wish Canada is not so far away. And I miss her terribly. Makes me wanna cry again...

But ysee, dreams are what make us. We all live to chase our dreams. And as she chases hers oceans away, I know that I am right to chase mine here. One day, like we planned, we gonna make those dreams come true. And it's those promises, like the tapulan kids made, that we should remember the reasons why we've held on for so long, lest we feel like giving up.

Coco loved her dora stickers that came along in the mail. And kept "reading" the card over and over. LOL. She must have also missed her auntie.

Mondays and Blues.

I stumbled into this line on one of my friend's sites, and she wrote there: "There's a good chance that you don't like me, but there's a bigger chance that I don't care."

And I am at loss of words, cuz she is damn right!

Happy Mondays everyone. Hope the week plays better this time around.

Beaches and Me.

Coco and I went to the beach for Sunday lunch. We both needed some fresh ocean breeze and good company of family and relatives. My phone is busted, so I have no connection to the outside world, except for my internet, which I promised myself to seriously cut down. Too much online time is really not good. lol

And i'm still thinking about how my past two weeks have gone. Still reeling from the after effects. I refuse to think that some people just live on hurting other people. It isn't fair. It isn't nice. It's psychotic. and tiring too.

Sometimes, when I'm too consumed and fed up that I feel like smashing my fist onto... I remember why I should be the happiest person in the world. Trivial things like these, belong to the recycle bin. Emptied. Taken Out. Forgotten.

And so, this weekend, I found a good blouse which I snagged at an unbelievable great price, and spent the rest of it playing with Coco, cooking and writing. With or without my phone, my week will go undoubtedly better!

All is well. :D







This solitary man, slowly rowing his way back home is an exquisite sight. Slow Sunday and out in open sea. For some reason, this picture makes it to my top 3 most favorite from the album.




Happy Fiesta Senior Sto. Nino!

Painting Colors

**

Ciara gave Coco some crayons and coloring books a few days back. And i've spent consecutive evenings painting colors with Coco. And every night, we'd have this little conversations about Pooh, Dora, Crayons and life in between. It's funny how she managed to paint colors into our lives, in her own little ways.

Last night, she told me that it's okay to be sad sometimes. Cuz the following day you know you'd be happy. And I wonder how she knows this, and she replied knowingly, that Barney taught her that. And for that, I would love Barney to death also.

Last night, she decided to become a doctor. And took out her doctor's kit and started treating her doll Dora's fever and cough. And she told Dora: don't worry Dora, your mommy will take care of you and make the fever go away. And she looked at me and said: Just like you Mommie. You make my yayay go away. Made my heart melt.

Last night, when we decided to turn off the lights and go to sleep, she said, we should wake up early cuz Lola is still yayay and is still at the hospital. She said she misses lola and that I should buy Lola grandma a cake to make her feel better. And suddenly, I think, what will I do when my lola moves on? I decide I am not ready. and neither will my Coco be.... And as my night went with a hundred other revelations, I forced some shut eyes and refused to play the role of a drama queen. I have been just that for the longest days.

Thank you God, for rainy, cold Fridays. Hot Chocolate, Coco, Warm Blankets and some good Barney episodes. I wanna stay in for the rest of the weekend and forget about work.

Drama Queen

Paulo Coelho tweeted: Close some doors. Not out of incapacity or arrogance, but because they lead you nowhere.

When the year started, I found myself in a dilemma. With work, with my personal life, with a lot of matters. And I found myself constantly thinking how I could strictly follow my goal-action plan, with its timelines.

Now I know.

I have always believed in things happening for a reason. And I have always believed that when they happen, they happen at the right time. Whether we grasp it or not, comprehend its purpose or not, we should know that our God has mapped out our lives, the way he sees it fit. Days, months, years down the road, you'll figure out the answers to your questions.

And yesterday, I found my answer to one of the top three questions I've had since two years ago. Is it too late? No. Is it what I was expecting? Yes. Yesterday, I know that nowhere is not a road I want to travel. And working out the plan to diverse in path should start today.

I guess, some parts of us, with the wheel of routine and everyday doldrums, we know deep down how things are going to be. Even if we just resign them to fate. invisible hand. destiny. whatever we may call it.

Crazy Monday took my words

Crazy Monday is here. And I'm not so sure if i'm already prepared for it. This week is bound to be crazier than the last. And I seriously hope it's gonna start out better. My boss is flying in from Cebu today and he'd be staying for a week! And as we all know, the team would be in a frenzy, full of meetings and deadlines. sigh. Makes me wanna skip now and move on to the next.

This week, I will know for sure. Between now and Friday, I will learn what is in store for me. And as T as has said, If I find nothing is in there for me, I will give what is due and finally be able to decide to jump ship when the other sets a definite date.

It's presssssuuuure! I am excited. But I am also damn scared. Too scared that I actually have no more words to say.

Can you believe it?

Bib Necklaces and More

What better way to cure an inexplicable sadness than online shopping?

Today I woke up feeling much better. The little bird that tweeted that I am sad deep down has finally stopped tweeting. And I figured, it may be a bit baseless, but the bird has a point. So instead of whining and pining, I finished my article due this morning and read my mails. Opened one after another and finally, as always checked out recent FB updates. And as expected, it's the same banana as yesterday.

I refuse to over-analyze the emotions. Before I went to bed last night, I know I am a drama queen by nature. I always have been. And these bizarre sadness/loneliness that I feel have always been the shadow creatures that have constantly occupied a nearby space in my overly crowded universe. It's not something that is really comprehensible. Besides, I am not looking or itching to explain it either.

And with this knowledge, I tell myself, no I remind myself that I am fine with the rate my life is going. And I admit that Yen is right in all arguments. I am tired of speculating. And I am definitely sick of it. So whatever goes. This is finally it. I HOPE.

And so, before I blurt out further realizations and monologues, I'm gonna stop. And enjoy the world of online shopping :)

Dig the Bib. Bib Necklaces for simple fashion and is definitely included in my top ten wishlist for 2010.



Some creations are really great. Check out sulit.com, ayosdito.ph and of course, multiply. I've found just one and I seriously hope it'd be shipped on time. For what? I have no idea.

But who cares right? it's pretty. Pretty damn Good.

Cold towels make me sad...

I'm tired. My body still hurts as if I did manual labor. Sleeping for hours and hours didn't make the pain go away and so I packed up my reports and decided to get a real good massage. And now... I still feel tired. but exponentially better. :D

My spa thereapist, Leah, always believed that I always wanted a cold towel after the warm stone massage. And every single time, I forget to tell her that I prefer to feel oily rather than cold. And today was no exception, I remembered, only when I was already walking out the spa to go buy Coco's surprise dora DVDs. And suddenly, I feel sad.

I don't really know why. But the city seemed, well, lonelier. Fewer cars. Darker streets. Me cold. It's melancholic. Sad. Lonely. Whatever. Like one cold December night, without the Christmas lights on. I stood there waiting for my cab and it felt like standing in the middle of the beach, at night, with the only sound you'll hear is the crashing waves and the only thing you'll feel is the cold. But this time, it isn't therapeutic. far from romantic either. it's actually, really... you know.

Have you ever felt this kind of sad with no particular reason? Or have you ever felt this, with no apparent and obvious cause?

It's like a huge sadness/emptiness/loneliness cloud sitting on my heart. SIGH.

It must be the cold towels. Right.

Mobile Internet and Fro-yo.

Yesterday, all my accounts were hacked. And my password changed. It was the most agonizing 12 hours ++ of my life. Last night, my friend Lot finally recovered my passwords and I was able to go online. This morning, I got my google access back.

Imagine, life without blogging. Imagine, retreating back into offline status. Maybe I would then completely shut down. Last night, I got to read the book that has been sitting on my bedside for the longest time. I watched Barney with Coco from start to finish. And finally, I slept early and woke up late. Sometimes, not having online connection has its benefits.

This morning, over breakfast, I read in the papers the greatest lifestyle shifts and stuff that made up the year that was 2009. Included facebook, twitter, notebooks, smartphones, mobile broadbands, fro yo, bib necklaces, and a lot more. Most are about online mobility. And thinking about my possibility of cutting off connection for stretches of time this 2010 seems like suicide. And then, I get to think about the possibility of losing my blogs. Talk about total darkness.

I wish Fro Yo would hit CDO soon. But i seriously doubt it. We have our own version of fro yo here too. Literally, it's yogurt forgotten in the freezer. After a few days of negative temperature, take it out t thaw a bit. add some diced apples and a couple of banana slices. And you get your cdo version of FRO Yo. LOL.

Me and Coco totally love it. TRY IT. it cost so much lesser!

SURVEY from Pseudo City gurl

Pseudo-city gurl tagged me in a survey. A different kinda mommie survey and i realized, i actually miss answering these!! And as usual, i'll post it here. Instead of tagging people there. It's just so much better, don't you think?

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?
*Nope.

2. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?
*I was super shocked, super scared and overwhelmed. I even cried.

3. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
* Twenty-something ;)

4. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
* One pregnancy kit from Jean, straight from Canada. And a PLUS sign that shone bright red.

5. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
* The dad.

6. DID YOU FIND OUT THE SEX?
*I wanted it to be a surprise, so I kept pushing the idea of a gender ultrasound. But at my 7th month, I just had to know whether it's gonna be blue or pink. :D

7. DUE DATE?
* Supposedly, September 23.

8. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?
* NEVER! :D

9. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?
* Gosh!Remember krispy kremes, siopao, mango-orange juice and yes, lotsa ice cubes??

10. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?
* stupidity.

11. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
* GURL! :D Expectedly and thankfully, Girl!

12. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING?
* At first, i was kinda expecting a baby boy. But I've always felt pretty during the whole course so I kinda figured I was gonna have a girl.

13. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
* God, about 30lbs.. MORE!

14. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
* The day of my baby shower, I was already at the ICU. But they sent me slices of the baby cake. so cute :)

15. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW?
* I knew about it. But the whole thing, it was supposed to be a surprise. Thank you Jeanie :)

16. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?
* Yes.

17. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
* at Medical City, Pasig.

18. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
* i didn't go into labor. It was an emergency CS. So i told my OB there is no need for it. haha

19. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?
* I took a cab alone!

20. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
* My OB, my cardio, my pulmo and a whole string of nurses. And i guess my mom from Heaven too :)

21. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
* Emergency C-Section. My BP was skyrocketing.

22. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?
* OH super lots! Was in the ICU for about 24hours. and anesthesia during the delivery. And some painkillers after.

23. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?
* 4.7lbs :)

24. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN?
* Lucky day, August 13.

25. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?
* Natalia Simone. I was gonna name her Angela or Cassandra. But then again, at the eleventh hour, i figured I wanted something out of the ordinary. And I wanted to name her after my favorite designer Coco Chanel. (FIGURE IT OUT how Natalia Simone became COCO haha)

26. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
* 2 years, 4 months and 25 days :D

I miss you guys so...

I miss my AMEX family. I miss the whole gang, the stories, the lunches and dinners, I miss the people who made my Makati stay so much fun. I even miss my job that required working hours no end. And on weekends. LOL. Cuz it gave me days without soo much work too. :D I even miss my boss.

Jean came home from NY to attend to some medical needs, and gathered the whole gang for a dinner at John and Yoko. They've asked us out of towners to come down to Manila for a meet up. But sad to say, we all could just long for the next flight...

Great food. Great place. Great Friends. I love these people to death.



Photo grabbed from Edj's fb album. I just have to post it here. SIGH

See you soon guys! I miss you all soooo much!

Wonders of Building Blocks

Guess what, Coco finally learned her colors. This morning when she woke up, we played building blocks and cooking breakfast. To my amazement, she grouped the blocks according to color and identified all four colors perfectly!

And she went on to enumerate which of her toys are pink, violet and red.









GOOD JOB LITTLE ONE! :)

January. January. Riot January.

My first few working days of 2010 was a riot. It was emotionally and physically draining! And what's worse, I feel like I've always known things were gonna happen as it actually did.

January 4th,

I learned that our world is really a dog eat dog one. No matter how much you think your place is a sleepy town, with family-like atmosphere, everyone is still a slave to ambitions.

I learned that wanting something so much is not enough to really have it.

I learned that I need to learn how to play the game of corporate snake ladders and slides.

I learned that I am okay with the idea of sitting halfway there, and knowing that you can't really look me in the eye. I'm too naiveeeeee!

I learned that a number of doors are available for me :)

I learned that I can fight it out. Skills, talents, background, experience and the ready answer: I WANT IT and I AM READY FOR IT would suffice. OH I HOPE!

January 5th

I learned that things are not so bad, in fact, the riot just made it all better.

I learned that people love me for what I can do, and what I can offer.

I learned that I have grown and matured a lot since I don't hold grudges anymore. (slight) haha and i actually understood. REALLY.

I learned that sleeping your troubles away do not work for me.

January 6th

Today, I learned that I am a better person.

I learned that things happen because they are meant to.

I learned that aside from my work life, most of my rosy colored life are still in the best shape.

Already, a lot of new things and changes have happened. And a lot more will happen during the next days. I'm excited about how things will turn out, i'm not having trouble sleeping. Which translates to I am not SOOO worried.

You know, for the first time in years, I've drawn up a GOALS List and a ROAD Map for 2010. Imagine the newfound pressure.

How do you think my January will end?

Coco musings

I spent the day cleaning my files. Deleted old, useless documents and photographs and emptied my trash bin. My PC has been lagging like a tired old lady. SIGH. And I as I browsed through folder upon folder, I came across Coco's baby pictures and I felt mommy moment on the rise. Sniff. I KNOW.

Almost three years ago, I gave birth to a fragile little girl who weighed only 4.7lbs. Straight out from ICU, both of us fought for what and how we are today. She was sooo small then, you can't really feel her weight when you carry her. I didn't cry when I first saw her, the anesthesia got the best of me. After counting her toes and fingers, off I went to dreamland and into the recovery room.

My little Coco bear at few days old could drink only an ounce of milk, she barely cried and waited patiently for mom and nurses to attend to her.



Spent the next few weeks arranging our trip home, from M to where we are now. She never cried, never pooped to make the cabin air smell bad, never threw fits.

She instantly became my sister Corie's favorite. She loves Coco like I do, takes care of her like I do, and will defend her like everyone else in our clan would.



We spent a million days at the farm, just lounging and having fun. She learned to walk there and say her first straight sentence. She learned to laugh at the outrageous chicken dance and made red her favorite color.







Spent her first two Christmases with a lot of wishes and presents, and a lot of love. This morning, as I cooked breakfast for her, she exclaimed I'm her most favorite person in the whole world. And goes on to enumerate a long list of people and dogs. And I feel my heart beam. And I grin like crazy.

She looks up to me with that wide eyed amazement, like she's watching some spectacular firework show.



Every laughter. Every giggle- I'd always save a space in my heart.



And I know, Coco will always be my number one fan. As I will always be hers.
Always hand in hand, mommie and Coco, i definitely started my year right with her. :)

Good Morning Sunday!

I am supposed to be writing about recession and its effects on the banking industry. I am supposed to but, as usual I am not. An hour ago, a good friend of mine was kind enough to walk me through the events that led to what is now. And though I have bits and pieces of it in my mind, things have become more clearer after the explanation. Similar to spoonfeedng, i know, he drew an outline for me to write on And now I feel like, what I wrote in my problem statement holds more water now. LOL.

A reaffirmation I guess.

Coco is still comfortably sleeping, snoring soundly and making little sounds as she always does. The sun is slowly rising and my sleepy town is slowly coming to life. The quiet humming of the town's motorcycles, the little birds flying from one tree to another and the smell of freshly baked bread.. sigh. How could you not fall in love with it?



I just love sunrises. Coco is slowly waking up, asking for her first milk in more than 15 hours (YEY!!) and I'll be soon up to fix our usual Sunday breakfast. Hot chocolate on one hand, Coco on the other, i think it's gonna be more than Sunny Side Ups this morning. :)

I simply love Sundays. Recession writing or otherwise, I still love Lazy, wonderful Sundays...

Good morning everyone :)

Make It ALL Happen!!

The revelries have ended. And the second day of the year has already started. Welcome back to reality Jel. 2009 has gone by so fast yet so slow, I hardly recall making resolutions a year ago. On the last day of the year, I resolved to make resolutions. And now that January is here and the weekend is almost over, I realize it's already Day 1 of the action plan.

2010 will be a fruitful year for me. And I hope it will also be for you. I know it, cuz I feel it. 2009 has laid down the initial foundation and the ball has started rolling. All I need is a great driving force and the Hand of God to make it all happen. Thank God for another year right?

This year, I promise myself that:

* I would spend more time with COCO. Take her to places she would enjoy and cherish.
* I would love myself more by eating right, living right, and more exercise. AND LOSE weight!
* I would not hate my boss so much and complete everything before I go lol
* I would say thank you more often and smile more often.
* I would TRY to not say bad words too much. I know, it doesn't sound right.
* I would go out of my comfort zone so I could live life as it should be lived.

And I would continue to love my friends and family, thank them enough, thank God for the blessings and challenges that make me whole, and appreciate the wonders of a 28 hour life. :)

I would continue to write here. :) Cuz I feel better and closer to what I'm finding everytime I write an entry. And I would forever thank God for giving me this, and the never ending flow of words to catch and string together.

Before the year ended, I threw out a lot of trash. And i found a lot of new things. I feel lighter, as we all should be.

You know, as I sit here, hot chocolate in hand, I realize, the Full moon is just amazing :)

The wonders of life is right under our noses, let's learn to stop and appreciate the little wonders God has provided us. Thank God for the little girl in my arms. And for giving her as my reason to make this 2010 a whole lot better. HOPE. LOVE. PRAY. Just don't give up.

HAPPY 2010! C'est La Vie everyone.