Jumbled

Few things happened last Friday:

1. I got my targets for this year. I haven't seen the official numbers yet but I accept that the figures are exactly as they are, without changes.

2. I saw/crossed paths with my daughter's s donor (though he denies this vehemently) for the first time in almost six years.

3. I went on a pseudo-date.

4. I've gotten beautiful news that keep us hoping that things will eventually fall into place.

For most of the items above, my initial reaction was disbelief. Because frankly, I have no idea where the hell I'd get even half of those accounts to meet the targets and to see donor up close is quite unexpected.

So, as it seems to naturally happen, I have been in a daze the past days. The gloomy weather matches my apprehension for the year's goals and my need to laze in bed for some time.

But as the days rolled out, I get to stop and think and think some more.

The more I think about these things, the more I seem to understand how things happen at the right exact moments (not a day earlier or a day later), or why they happened (insert ten thousand reasons here); and then, finally, i get to reiterate to myself that all these worries about a number of things would always come to sort themselves out in a matter of time.

So last night, after a really long day and a glass of red wine, I slept a good slumber. And threw my worries in the air. I reminded myself that Tomorrow will be a better day, and tomorrow, I shall know what to do.

And true enough, I woke up (not with solutions or answers but) with a new resolve:

* to visit my developers more often (than the time I spent last year)

* accredit more projects

* forget the idea that donor will Man Up and at least look at me (I believe he should have at least looked at me see for himself -- I don't know what, but I feeeel that he should have met me in the eye)

* laugh at the memory of it 

* should not over analyze things (and emotions) emanating from a pseudo date, because(afterall)  it IS just a kind of date and liking someone is an entirely different planet from dating someone or going out for dinner..

Today, I put those resolutions into action.

I visited most of my developers; requested their support and listened to what they need from me and find some ways for me to fine tune the kind of process that I already have to maximize efficiency (LOL, seriously!). 

I understood that the crossing paths won't be the last and that it's usually only the first encounter that may seem to feel weird. So, I told myself to get over it.

I know that whatever comes from these going out/hanging out/whatever, I wouldn't try to figure. I have ten million issues that I need to resolve with myself first anyway. I need to come to terms with so many things, including but not limited to: commitment, loyalty or even understanding.

All I know, that with all of the above, as my good friends tell me, I should NEVER just settle. I should do the best and have the best.

So tonight, I will amend my power word and integrate BEST in the simplicity mantra I have been repeating to myself since day one.

Now, it the power word/s is BEST SIMPLICITY or SIMPLY (the) BEST. lol sounds like an outdated commercial ad!

Today though, despite the fever and crazy work appointments, I had lunch with RVN.



Happy thoughts.