The Story of the Little Orange Heart

I went home crying. Literally walking, riding a cab home, knocking on our gate crying. Sobbing. Choking.

Red Eyes. Red Nose. Tears streaming down my face kind of thing.

PATHETIC. I know.

But I have never encountered a person,as excruciatingly difficult as mine. NEVER in my entire life. Until now.

And although I want to keep the professional problem within the confines of my cubicle, sometimes, it is just TOOOOO much.

So I cried and cried and cried until my head hurts like it's been hammered in. And I cried until I couldn't see through my tears. I cried until I sat down and wished 15 will roll out sooner than soonest.

I cried even if my little one threw her arms around me and rested her small head on my shoulders. She just hugged me, just like that. We sat there in the couch, with me sobbing like crazy and I couldn't even manage a squeak, and I wonder why in the world are there people who are born to be mean with a capital M.E.A.N.

For the first time, I admitted, this has finally gotten me. I'm so broken, so down, so affected by this shitty treatment I've been getting, that I couldn't sleep nights, couldn't eat right, couldn't laugh much... Cuz you know, I value an honest day's work the way I value my kid. And he's just, well, shitting all over it!

I have been an honest worker, I work hard, I do my best. I make an effort to learn, to become better everyday, to be an asset. For the past three years with the team, I think I deserve more than this kind of going away treatment.

At the very least, I deserve to be treated with respect.

But it's okay. I'm pressing on, pushing forward, getting through this one day at a time. I'm not giving in, not yet, not now.

Little girl smiled and hugged me more to chase my tears away. And as she showed me today's artwork, she said I can include "mommie also" under her name.

This little orange heart, that my little one painstakingly, lovingly put together this morning has stopped my tears from flooding in. God has His ways of comforting such a broken, tired soul as mine, He posted a note on my fridge.

A little reminder that despite all these that happened today, God loves Me and my little girl.

And that all things broken, like the little orange heart, can also be pasted back. With God in the middle, a star on the side and a little girl smiling bright.

I CAN DO THIS! I AM NOT GIVING UP!!!