Break Off

I hate riding the bus for long trips. I hate the idea of having to sit with a complete stranger for hours no end and of having to endure the stops.

I hate the smell and the noise. And the tiredness that seem to cling to me after.

But you know, it hasn't always been like this. I love to travel; to see new places; to find new things and discover new perspective. I used to love long bus rides too, because it allowed me to think. and maybe dream.

Perhaps, lately, the crazy work schedule and the anxiety of shifting jobs have made me more of a grouch.

AND that, I hate more.

Today, I woke up before the sun rose. And I started my day with a prayer that this week will go better than the last two. I hope, with all my heart, that the condescending boss that I have will stop assembling an execution crew and for a moment, just forget that he disapproves my decision.

My word today is RELAX. I need to learn to just go with the flow and let things go as they should. For the past two weeks, I have been crazy running after a schedule, crazy working, crazy planning... crazy exhausted.

This week, I need to relax. I need to give these bones some much needed rest and to give my mind and heart a much needed respite. This week, I will have to time to watch the sun rise, to see my little girl's works of art, to cook some pasta or bake some cupcakes; This week, I will have time to sit for long hours, reading stories with little one, teaching her to play the piano and make more drawings.

This week, I will empty my mind of worries, shake my heart and pour out resentments and a bit of that anger and open my palms to a whole new future. This week, I will be moving forward, remembering always but never looking back.

Little one is waking up now, and as I master the art of wrapping things up quickly, I stick another post-it on my forehead: RELAX.