JUST isnt Right.

REALLY?

I have a confession to make: It affects me.

I hate to say it, I hate to even think about it, BUT it DOES. And I know I've made a good number of excuses and gave a hundred more shrugs, but sometimes, that just doesn't cut.

It affects me, and even just saying that AFFECTS me.

There are reasons why these walls are made of bricks and hard cement.
There are reasons why time is always, always considered holy for me.
There are reasons why I don't believe in smiling too much. or talking too much about mundane things. or believing in JUST BECAUSE.

I hate it.

There are reasons why the door will remain closed.
There are reasons why I prefer to just work, bake and cook and write.
There are reasons why green or smiley does not appear.


I hate it.

There are reasons why I keep to myself.
There are reasons why staying in the safe zone is always the safest thing.
There are reasons why I think I should not and don't believe in first chances, second chances, whatever.

I hate it.

There are reasons why I am not keen on Maybes.
There are reasons why NO is created.
There are reasons why I prefer to see my world as I see it and want it. Or why we forget. Or why we just let things shrug off.

There are reasons why I think this way, feel this way, even act this way.
And these reasons are my own, and they're sacred and crazy important.

It's not easy to take a chance. Only to find out it was crazy foolish. It's not OKAY to feel not okay when there simply isn't an option for NOT okay!

It just isn't right.