Getting Ready for a Leap: Views from the sick bed

My doctor has confined me to a five-day bed rest with only a few hours allowed on the laptop with absolutely zero work involved. And I wonder if I should really take it all, I'm thinking I can't afford to lose much time.

BUT I have never been this sick in my entire life either. I swear.

For the last two days, I was surrounded with a box of tissue, water, medicines and my Cocobear lovingly putting an icepack on my burning forehead and telling me if I squirm or even try to avoid the cold pack, she's calling her pedia. lolz

And because I have never felt so helpless or tired ever too, I did not resist even a bit.

Yesterday, I went to the office to finish off audit, settled a few transactions and informed my boss that I think I'm taking a time off. Ten minutes later, I collapsed in the cab with the highest grade fever ever. It scared me a bit.

So, as I re-think the numerous options I have been listing and re-listing, yesterday was kind of a show-stopper for me. Or a lighted bulb im my mind. Or a good bang in the head.

My working so hard, my showing up for work despite the feeling of almost fainting, the trying-hard to excel isn't really just for me, myself and I. However, It certainly isn't for my boss (haha). It's actually for my daughter's future. Nothing BUT.

But you know, when I push too hard and find myself in bed for days at a time, risking the only wealth I own, I feel like this isn't what really little one deserves.

I cannot be sick precisely because little one needs me 24/7. No sick days off.
And though I know getting sick is like a given, being totally incapacitated- with the burning fever and an acute pneumonia is too scary and frankly, too much for even this single mommie.

And as I sat there yesterday, watching but not completely hearing my boss talk to me about work and the new KRA, budget, acccount movements, etc. I kinda had the epiphany that he might not really have it in his heart that I am sick as sick could be.

And that he could just replace me when i can no longer give a hundred and ten percent. Losing me wouldn't be too much of a big loss for his dream team.

So, here I am in bed, justifying why I should start looking for another job: A job that is about 80% less the pressure and the demand or a job that is kinda in that level but pays double and a plus.

I'm taking my chances on the latter since I know I can take on whatever pressure (whatever budget) you throw my way. Either way, it's something different from where I am standing now.