The sermon yesterday was about being contented as success is not measured by worldly wealth. The priest went on to say that money is a source of security, a source of hope and the focus of everyone in town. We are always wishing for a bigger house, more cars, further vacation spots.. it never ends.
We must remember, he continued, that money can buy a house but not a home. It can buy medicine but not health. Books but not knowledge. Bed but not sleep.
What are we without God?
For someone like me who continually works for financial freedom, for a house we can call our own and for books for my little one to read, how will I know that it is already enough? I dream of bigger things for me and my little one. But I know that all my planning and hardwork is nothing if it isn't in God' plans.
Yes, I believe in the Divine Plan, with His Divine work and planning in motion. I realized this before, watched my laid out plans and dreams shattered like no more. And now, as I watch the broken pieces of that once a dream, I ask myself: Why do I no longer feel broken?
Because in the middle of my long winding road now, I found the beauty of sunrise, a family and true love in my daughter Coco, and simplicity in the life we lead.
Am I contented? Not really. Because I still dream. I still want more. I still work for more. But I know where I stand in this universe of ours. I am thankful that I have sleep, knowledge, health.. I am thankful that God agrees with my current plans.
For about three years, when I told myself I have to be strong because there is no other option, I discovered how strong I really am. When I found it difficult to face the future, I told myself to take it one day at a time.
And I have gotten far, haven't I?
Last night, when Coco and I had finished dinner, I turned on my laptop to start writing again. Coco came to me and said: "You're always working, Ma.."
I replied: "I know, Mommie needs to work so we will have money."
And she said:"But we've already prayed to Jesus for money."
How can we argue with that?
Because we have to work to achieve our goals while we pray. We can only hope that what we our doing accords with His plan, and pray that we have the wisdom to understand what His will for us is. Like what I said in FB, I have recently learned to pray not for what I want but for what God deems is best for me, less disappointment, more faith.
ReplyDeleteI personally find comfort in the fact that things will never go out of control because He is there. It's great, isn't it? :)
I know Gladz. I don't get to panic. cuz I know things will always work out well and how it's supposed to be. Simply cuz He is there. :D
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